Another night another sleepover for Janet and Toni but this time the conversation was taking a turn. It took a moment for Janet's statement to sink in. Toni took a deep breath.
Toni: What do you mean, girls?
Janet: As you said, girls and guys are different. There are good things about going out with both.
Janet continued to massage the girl's shoulders, feeling her tense a little.
Toni: The differences are nice, actually.
Toni was unable to control her youthful bluntness. Her eyes were wide.
Toni: Have you ever done that? I mean do you go out with guys AND GIRLS?
Janet smiled and spoke carefully.
Janet: Yes I have.
Her eyes rested on the young, flushed face. It was evident Toni was dying to find out more but having great difficulty getting the questions she wanted to ask out of her mouth.
Toni; What do you mean...uh.....I guess...I don't understand about nice and different.....oh.....I don't know what I'm saying!
Janet: Nice in a different way.
Janet responded as though the teen had phrased a coherent question. She knew what Toni wanted to know.
Janet: Girls are softer. They do things a little differently.....They smell different. They don't kiss quite as guys do. You know most girls, wonder about it at some time or another. I really wouldn't mind talking about it some more if you like.
Toni was hanging intently on every word. Janet watched her young eyes. She sensed they were at a crossroads. Would Toni open up and share her thoughts or would she get scared and pull back? It was an emotional minefield. Janet very much wanted to earn Toni's respect and friendship. She wished there had been an older woman to talk to her when she was that age. Janet sensed the need to remain silent and not push Toni into a reply. Toni relieved her tension by sighing and then mumbling something about her hair driving her nuts. She reached behind her and released her long hair. shaking her head to let it fall into place and brush her shoulders.
Toni: I like it when you rub my shoulders, They really are kind of stiff.
she said softly. Janet resumed rubbing her shoulders and they were both silent for a while.
Toni: How can kissing be that different?
Janet: Well, girls are usually more into kissing than guys. Their lips are softer and their skin smells different... And I think they are more gentle, too.
Toni was deep in thought.
Toni: Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I'd really never thought about it quite in that way."
She let out her breath, the movement of air causing a couple of strands of her hair to lift gently from her forehead and then fall back into place.
Toni: It's really hard for me to imagine it exactly....just talking about it, you know. "
She closed her eyes.
Toni: I'm really curious about how it feels. Do you think that's a little weird?
Janet: Of course not, sweetie. Perfectly normal. There's nothing wrong with thinking about anything you want to think about. Besides, if it's something you really want to try sometime, you'll know......and I'm sure you'll get the chance.
Toni turned suddenly as if trying to say something quickly before she changed her mind.
Toni: Would you show me...I mean about the kissing? You're really nice and I think it would be better to do it with someone I trusted. I mean doesn't that make sense?
