Vivicendium ➝ Sirius Black/OC

Mens divinior

Chapter Twenty One | Mens divinior

[An inspired mind]

Vivian isn't the type of person to agonize over her actions. Whether someone likes her or not doesn't usually matter to her, or so she thinks. She'd like to the believe that she is above the pettiness of human emotions, but in reality, she isn't. The truth of the matter is that some people have a thicker skin, and some people don't. Some people find it easier to cast off the opinions of others, and some people absorb those opinions and allow them to alter their perspectives. It isn't a question of whether or not you are above this pettiness, but rather how you handle it when you inevitably experience it. For Vivian Blair, who is accustomed to casting it off and pretending that it doesn't affect her, she feels suddenly lost when she realizes that it actually does.

Apparently, Slytherins aren't the only ones who are good at deflecting someone.

" – seems as though the astronomy tower isn't the only place we need to keep an eye on," Gavin is saying as he dictates the prefect meeting later that week. It's nearing the end of November, which means that there aren't that many prefect meetings scheduled before Christmas break. As usual, Gavin has taken charge of the topics that they are discussing, no doubt hoping to cover everything before the opportunity disappears. He's even gone so far as to write up several points, from which he keeps referring back to during his speech. Vivian honestly doesn't understand why Dumbledore hadn't made him Head Boy. In comparison, Potter looks like he's bored to tears as he leans against the far wall, and not even the sight of his ladylove can wake him out of said boredom.

"I found three couples in the western courtyard this week alone," Gavin informs them, shaking his head at the injustice of it all. "We obviously need to have more people patrolling the first floor and the grounds, so I'll be redoing the schedules and pairing off those of you who are assigned to that part of the castle – "

Vivian stands behind what she had said previously: Clarke is a total nerd and he takes his prefect duties way too seriously. That said, she's been trying to catch his eye all evening without success, and is growing more concerned with every failed attempt. Is he really that angry with her? She knows that they aren't really friends. Sure, they've gotten to know each other on the Hogsmeade trip, and he let her borrow one of his books, and he's knowledgeable enough about literature to hold an actual conversation with her, but she figured that he was aware that friendship just isn't on the table for them. It's not that she finds his muggleborn heritage to be some repulsive thing. It's just that...well, he is a muggleborn, and she doesn't think he realizes just how wide the gap between them is. She can't just go around befriending people like him. This is a game of survival, and not just of the social kind.

" – In this instance, I believe that the adage 'there is strength in numbers' applies – "

It's true that Vivian has never really cared much for what other people think of her. However, it's also true that, with the growing darkness outside of Hogwarts, her entire house is in a very precarious position. Lean to far too far into the darkness, and be labeled a future Death Eater, hunted down by the Ministry and sneered at by society. Lean too far away from the darkness, and she could be cast from her social circles and become the target of not the Ministry, but of the very people that she ought to align herself with.

It's all very straightforward for someone like Gavin Clarke, though. He doesn't have the same choices that she does. He isn't standing on the same ledge that she finds herself teetering on, wondering if she should make the leap and leave behind the world she's always known, or step back from the edge and throw herself in the other direction.