Vivicendium ➝ Sirius Black/OC

In ambiguo

Chapter Forty Five | In ambiguo

[In doubt]

"AND HERE WE ARE, LADIES AND GENTS! THE MATCH WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! LET'S DO A QUICK RECAP AS OUR TWO TEAMS LINE UP ON THE PITCH! RAVENCLAW IS CURRENTLY IN THE LEAD FOR THE QUIDDITCH CUP WITH GRYFFINDOR IN CLOSE SECOND, FOLLOWED BY SLYTHERIN AND THEN HUFFLEPUFF! THIS MATCH WILL EITHER KNOCK GRYFFINDOR DOWN A FEW PEGS OR PROVE THAT THE SLYTHERIN TEAM IS SHITE!"

Vivian rolls her eyes as she adjusts her hair, tugging it into place to ensure that it doesn't get in her eyes during the match. The Slytherin and Gryffindor teams are both facing each other on the pitch, waiting for Madam Hooch to release the balls. Avery and James step towards each other to offer the usual pre-game handshake, but as expected, neither of them looks all that pleased to be forced into such pleasantries. As Hooch clicks open the case that holds the Quaffle, Bludgers, and Snitch, they end up glaring at each other. They both look to be struggling with something that the female race likes to refer to as stupidity à la testosterone.

With everything going on in her personal life, Quidditch is really the least of Vivian's concerns. The match between Slytherin and Gryffindor has been postponed to the last week of January. One of the Gryffindor's Chasers' parents had been brutally murdered by the Dark Lord's followers just before Christmas, and they hadn't wanted to use one of their reserves for such an important game. The postponement had thrown off the Quidditch Cup schedule somewhat, but Vivian is just as glad for it. She's had enough to think about without the addition of this.

To be honest, she's been seriously considering dropping off the team altogether. These days, it's like she doesn't even have time to breathe, let alone all the other things she has going on. Besides classes, there's prefect meetings and patrols, assignments to do, Quidditch practices to attend, and the issue of her task, which definitely serves to throw off everything else.

Vivian has no idea what to do about it. She knows, deep down, that the only way to get out of her predicament is to remove herself from her current lifestyle entirely, which is precisely why she hasn't yet been able to. For all of Sirius's buoyant words about how Dumbledore would be able to sweep in and help her carve out a new life for herself, she still doesn't believe it will be that easy. She's also more than a little afraid of venturing into the unknown like that. She isn't a risk-taker. She doesn't have the same carefree spontaneity that would make such a decision an easy one. She wants to be free from this task and her impending marriage, but like any proper Slytherin, she isn't about to take an action that isn't thought through. Calculated risks are one thing, but suddenly turning on her own house while she's still in such a vulnerable position within said house is practically a death sentence.

The only way she can imagine getting out of this is if she waits until graduation before taking action. She has to think about her own safety. She's too near to Mulciber and his friends to expect that they'll just let her do whatever she wants. It would be far wiser to pretend to go along with their plans and then, at the ideal moment, take her leave of them once and for all. There's only one problem with this: her task.

She'd thought that she had until graduation to present the Dark Lord with this spell, but if Regulus is correct, then she only has a few weeks at most. She has no other choice but to complete her task and play the subservient role for now, until she sees the opportunity to save herself from well and truly becoming a part of that life. She doubts that the Dark Lord would make her take the Dark Mark before she graduates, if he even wants her to take it at all. She's not as fanatical as Mulciber or Avery and, as far as she knows, the only reason the Dark Lord is interested in her at all is because her father had bragged to him about her talent for creating spells. She's sure that he wouldn't even remember her existence if not for that.