Vivicendium ➝ Sirius Black/OC

Vel caeco apparent

Chapter Forty Six | Vel caeco apparent

[It would be apparent even to a blind man]

It would be a lie to claim that Vivian isn't concerned about Regulus's warning. The fact that she has a deadline for which to create her spell is stressful enough, but the knowledge that the Dark Lord is sending an agent to Hogsmeade soon is even worse. She barely sleeps at all that night – partially because of the celebratory Quidditch party that continues well into the early mornings hours of the morning but mostly because her thoughts are spinning in such a claustrophobic way that she can't settle her mind for the life of her. Dark scenarios color each thought. She can't stop envisioning what might happen should she fail her task. She's never met the Dark Lord personally, but she's heard how merciless he is when one of his followers don't live up to their given purpose. Will he kill her if she fails to come up with a good enough spell?

She tosses and turns for hours after her conversation with Regulus, who is yet another reason for her sleeplessness. She just doesn't understand why he wants to be a part of something so dark. Perhaps he's right, that the world isn't as black and white as she had suggested. After all, she's right in the middle of this whole mess, but she doesn't believe herself to be evil despite the fact that she hasn't yet found a way to remove herself from her current circumstances. Still, the memory of his cold eyes and his low warning makes her distinctly uncomfortable. The stress that it introduces erases any sleep that she might have otherwise found, and after a while, Vivian gives up on sleep altogether. She throws her blankets off and grabs her wand, summoning some light. Then, after slipping the outer robe of her school uniform over her shoulders and collecting 'A Dictionary of Hexes, Vol. III', she slips quietly out of the dorm and into the hall.

Truthfully, she doesn't know where she's planning on going. Perhaps she means to read a bit in the common room, but when she steps into it, it's clear that she won't be getting any peace there. The Quidditch party is still going on despite it being close to three in the morning. Most of the partiers have either passed out in one of the many chairs or are too wasted to notice her presence. She sees Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier lingering by the hearth passing a near-empty bottle of liquor between them, but thankfully their backs are turned towards her and they don't see her arrival. Snape must have left the common room ages ago – he's not one for the loud, uproarious nature of a typical Slytherin party. As for Lucius, Vivian has a feeling that he's with Narcissa in his dorm, because her bed had been suspiciously empty when Vivian had made her way past it.

Vivian slips out of the common room and begins to walk aimlessly down the corridor. She doesn't necessarily mean to walk in the direction of the hospital wing, but when she ends up at the entrance of it, she doesn't question it. She hesitates for only a moment before setting her shoulders back and quietly walking inside, peering around for any sign of the head healer. When she doesn't see any candles still lit, she deems it safe enough to cross into the main room.

Admittedly, she does feel a bit silly when she finds the bed she's looking for. What the hell is she doing, visiting Sirius Black? It's not as if they're close enough for all of this. She's been constantly reminding herself how much she hates him for the past week now, clinging onto her mantra as if it is the only thing keeping her afloat. She hates everything about him – his stupid smiles and his warm eyes and his open laughter and the fact that he seems so adamant about getting closer to her. He's a womanizing arsehole with no respect for anyone but himself, who fancies himself god's gift to women or some shit like that. He definitely doesn't deserve her presence here tonight.

She pulls up a chair anyhow, frowning to herself even as she opens her book. It occurs to her, as she shifts the pages into a beam of moonlight, that it's been ages since she's last read one of Austen's masterpieces. With every stressful thing that's happened in the last few weeks, there is something blissfully calming about imagining Elizabeth's trip to Pemberley. She has yet to realize that the elusive Mr. Darcy is due to arrive to his manor imminently, but in only a few pages, she will stumble upon the man himself on the estate grounds. The scene is already so ingrained within Vivian's mind that it unravels for her easily, and finds herself burying her face into the pages, devouring the words as she sits in that shard of moonlight in the silent hospital wing.