In Between Love and Tragedy (Phan)

My Worst Regret

*Dan's POV*

Day after day it was the same like always. Me freezing my ass as I walked with the goof I had a tiny crush on. Dreading over and over each class period as I slowly increased my disinterest for these subjects and my anxiety about the party on Friday. I have no idea why I should be so nervous about it anyway.

Once the dooms day of the Friday party approached I still felt extremely hesitant towards engaging in such activities these typical dimwitts would do. Yet I still went for him. As I entered the hormonal teen infested home filled of girls to drunk to stand. And idiot guys wanting to stick there dick in about just anything.

It was sickening knowing what this generation I've come to be in is like.

I observed my surroundings hoping to find Nick. As my eyes wandered I finally found his familiar curly locks.

I instantly became filled with this sudden burst of odd joy. I began to walk towards his direction until I stopped in my tracks.

He was with the typical bleach blonde you would see in those high school movies. She had this odd Regina George mean girls vibe as I sort of felt my heart sank.

I know it was stupid to like my best friend especially since he's straight. She clung to his arm batting her exaggerated false lashes.

Taking a shaky breath I continued walking over.

"Hey Nick." I said as my voice cracked.

"Hey buddy, I was wondering when you'll finally show." He replied removing the girls grasp from his arm. As he went to pull me into a big.

"I'm glad you came." he muttered into my shoulder.

"Lol yeah, no bromo though." After saying that I wanted to immediately punch myself in the face due to my own second hand embarrassment.

Pulling away the curly haired boy laughed at my response. Instantly forgetting the blondie he led me to the kitchen.

"Um would you like a drink?"

At first I hesitated since I never really drank but said yes anyway. Accepting the red plastic cup he gave me I took a sip. As I gulped it down I winced at how strong it was.

As the party went by suddenly I began consuming drinks left and right burning as it went down my throat.

My thoughts clouded and feeling utterly hot I went to the balcony upstairs. The chilly air hit my body causing me to shiver.

I looked at the sky seeing the full moon. It was so mesmerizing I sort of zoned out until I felt someone tap on my back.

Looking back I saw Nick. He had a tiny of pink coated onto his face. Indicating he was either as drunk or even more than I am.

"Heeeey buuuudy, I've been looking for you." He said stumbling onto my chest.

I sort of just froze unsure of what to do. He wrapped his lingering arms around my waist. Meeting his eyes with mine he went on his top toes pressing his lips onto mine.

My eyes widened instantly in shock of what just happen.

"I sort of knew you liked me for a while now Dan." My cheeks began to heat up as it turned red.

"Really? Was it that obvious?!"

"Yes, now come with me."

"Where?"

"Sssssh just let it happen." He said pressing his fingers against my lips.

Soon after that we entered a dark room. Nick connected his lips with mine as everything else faded to black.

~

The next morning I woke up my head pounding. I looked around to see a very unfamiliar room.

I got up feeling a cold breeze as I realized I was only in my boxers. What happened last night.

I thought as I tried to remember. Scratching the back of my head unsure I put on my clothes trail that led to the door.

Buttoning up my top I saw a nauseous looking Nick. As suddenly everything from last night flashed through my head.

He avoided looking at me or even in my direction. As he walked past me out the door.

Before he left I grabbed his wrist.

"What do you want?" He spat coldly causing me to tense up.

"What exactly are we?" I said in a shaky tone.

"Nothing. That's what we are. This was all just a mistake. Sorry to disappoint you." He ripped away from my grasp harshly as my heart instantly was shattered.

A singular tear went down my face as my eyes widened in shock.

After I heard the front door slam I quickly got my things and grabbed a bottle of vodka. It's not like anyone would notice it was gone. Plus I definitely needed something to numb the pain of utter rejection.

I quickly ran out that wretched house heading towards my flat.

As I got it I jumped into my bed and plugged in my phone. I flopped over replaying what had happen over and over again in my head.

I felt like a fucking idiot.

A worthless one at most since the only person that cared about me, now regrets hooking up with me.

As I kept thinking suddenly my thought process stopped, hearing my phone being blown up with notifications. Fucking great what's this about.

I clicked on one notifications as it took me to a tagged Facebook photo. It was of me from last night but with Nick. Th... they photographed the whole thing of me and him going at it.

I looked at the comments seeing:

Disgusting fags

Hey wanna suck me off next fag :)

Gays are such an abomination

Do us a favor and kill yourselves

As I keep scrolling hundreds of similar comments. All of this was overwhelming especially since I hadn't come out to anyone. And now the whole school knows.

I tried to text Nick but he wouldn't respond.

God I would do anything to go back but now I'm here crying my eyes out like a child who just lost their favorite you. Drinking straight vodka to just stop the pain. Maybe numb reality.

Because it didn't matter anymore, nothing did...