On the edge

Accidents Happen

"Isn't it pretty baby" I ask her. "What is it" she asks taking it out. "that book you were always talking about Percy Jackson" she looks at it. "Remember we watched the movies and you said you wanted to look at the  books" "oh ya thank you" she says forcing a smile.

I puts it back into the box and gets up. I grab plates and stuff.

"She seems a little cranky" "she's fine just big stuff like this gets her into moods" I tell her. "You look exhausted" "shut the hell up you're out of line" I state.

"Didn't mean it" "that's rude" "I am worried about you she's only getting worse I mean if she won't take the meds" I look at her. "Yes Dana I know what happens with Bipolar disorder" "read this" I look at a pamphlet.

"What is that" "it's a brochure for a child care faculty I put her on a list and a room opened up" i stop. "An asylum you put my daughter on a list for some insane asylum she's not insane" I whisper yell.

"She will be if she doesn't get help" "she has help me you are in no place to tell me how to raise my child" I state. "I understand that but seriously you think this is helping it's not she's needs doctors" "she's bipolar not dying" I say irritated. "She might I heard about this guy who had it and he almost killed himself what if she does too huh what are you going to do then help her no because your just one person she can't depend on just you she needs more" "get out" I ask

"who are you to tell me about my daughter when you're the reason I'm in this mess in the first place she could've had a dad she could've had a loving family but no you told them I was pregnant and they kicked me out before I even had a chance to explain and then lied to me for months about my boyfriend sleeping with my best friend you don't know what she needs you don't know her you don't know how much of a badass she is she's a sweet girl with a brave heart she wouldn't give up like this so GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU" I shout.

She jumps back afraid and grabs her purse and leave.

"Hey uh everything okay" I inhale. "You answered you always answer you're amazing and ya it is now is this a bad time" I ask.

"No I'm-im at a call but I- I wanted to answer and you know make sure your not out on a ledge or something" "thanks" I run a hand through her red hair. God she looks so much like him.

"Not on a ledge in my kids room watching her sleep" I whisper. "But you're on a call I can just call you later" "a kid okay now you have to tell me" "my daughter Riley she just turned 10 she has a mental disorder that causes mood swings and erratic behavior" I start. "Wait Emmy is Riley- is Riley bipolar" "ya ya she is she got it from her stupid father apparently there will always be secrets in a relationship" I get upset and sit on her chair.

"She's just she's being stubborn won't take her meds unless forced then when she does she refuses to do anything I can't even remember the last time she told me she loved me"  I say shakily. "I'm starting to think she won't need me anymore like she might need more" "you mean like an asylum" I chuckle. "Ya like that I don't know how to help her I don't know how to make sure she's okay when I say it out loud it sounds pretty bitchy she's my kid and I love her" "yeah that's rough look I don't- I don't know a lot but if there's one thing I learned over the last 24 hours the only thing that matters is family" I look at her. "Right you're right thank you" "yeah you got it um I'll talk to you soon okay all right" we hang up.

"Mommy" I get up  and walk over to her. "Hey baby" she holds her arms out to me. "What me to pick you up" she shakes her head. "Lay down" she nods. I get in with her. "Hey you know I love you right Riley" she nods. "Good good" I kiss her forehead.

"911 what's your emergency" i ask. "Al these messages get recorded right" "yes sir" I answe.

"Good good my name is Dale Marks I need to leave a message for my wife Annie Marks I'm on flight 46 and we're going down" "the plane is going down" I ask for conformation.

"Please please look I don't have a lot of time I need to say something to my wife will you just let me do that" he asks. "Okay" "look she's having a difficult pregnancy so somebody needs to be with her when she just- tell her that I was thinking of her and our little girl I don't think I'm gonna get a chance to see in this lifetime I love you Annie so much so so much and that's not gonna die even if I do today and I promise you babe that I'm gonna watch over you both I'm sorry I cannot come home I need you to be strong for our daughter you tell her that her-" it cuts off. I wipe a tear from my eye "hello" I call out.

We watch the news about the accident.

I walk  away to call Buck. "Emmy" "sorry hi it's terrible" I state. "Yeah it's grim" "are you okay" i ask.

"Yeah I'm- I'm okay" "we'll I just wanted to um this may be way out of line but i am looking for a survivor" i state. "You knew someone on this flight" "no but a call came through a while back from the plane as it was going down" I correct. "Damn" "i wanted to see if the guy was alive I really hope he is" "yeah a lot of folks didn't" I let out a breathe. "I know his name is Dale Marks and he's gotta pregnant wife waiting for him" "yeah let me see what I can find out"  I hang up.

I bite my nails.

"I'm sorry Emmy I know it's not what you wanted to hear" I look up to hold back tears.

I hang up.

The woman comes in and I show her to my station. "You ready" she nods and it plays.
She breaks down crying when it's over and I hug her.

I get home. "She's watching Winx Club" "that was my favorite as a kid she loves it" I state. "She told me about a Halloween You guys and where you dressed up as the mother of bloom and she was bloom the picture is adorable" "thanks it was a good night" I smile.

"Are you gonna be okay tonight I can call Howard and stay you know" "I'm fine I can take her go ahead" I turn and sit down.

"You know if I was as tired as you looked I might want a little help" "I'm good thanks" I say with a smile. "You know what I'm staying let's get you to bed and I will handle the graveyard shift" "Carla I'm a grown up person I can take care of myself I can take care of my daughter okay" I say harshly.

"Sorry it's been a bad few days but seriously have a good night" she nods and leaves.

"Mommy" "hey sweetie" I say tired. "You're tired" "yea baby" "you always yell when you're tired" she states. "I know baby I'm sorry" "mommy I wanna story" "not tonight go to bed" I tell her.

I drift off.
I wake up and check the time. 1:34

I get up and look at Lee's door. She's not in bed. "Lee" I call out. I walk in and don't see her I go to the bathroom. "Lee" I call out starting to get worried.

I see the door open. "LEE RILEY" I call out. I run out the door. "RILEY" I cry.