Bold Love

Chapter 62 - Grief

Y/N's POV

"I'm going to meet up with James." I press a kiss on her forehead, closing my eyes for a second to savor the moment. "But I'll be back for dinner, I promise."

She pokes me against my shoulder, a soft smile playing around the edges of her lips. "Oh, you must be because I have something very special planned for tonight."

Pulling backwards, I playfully groan. She always enjoys doing this, perking up my interest and leaving me hanging at the last moment.

"Now, you can't say that to me and leave me guessing for the rest of the day," I pout, "Do you want to give me a tiny hint?"

"Mmh-mm, you won't get a word out of me. It's a surprise, darling."

"Not fair." I mumble, her quiet chuckle reaching my ears.

I can't help but smile as Lizzie pulls me closer, giving me an apologetic look. "Oh, baby, don't give me that face. You just have to wait and see."

"It looks like I must have to." I trace a finger over the top of her shirt, giving her a teasing look from under my lashes. "But you have to make it up to me later."

"Of course, you can't think about anything else." She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "See you later, sweetheart. Have a good time." Lizzie presses a lingering kiss against my forehead, hands encircling my waist.

Walking out of the door, I get into my car. Taking a last glance at the house, I take off. With every passing minute, the happiness I've been feeling slowly leaves me, the emptiness returning.

I make a short stop in front of the flower shop, buying a bouquet of sunflowers. The drive goes by in a blur, and before I even know it, I arrive at my destination. With heavy steps, I walk down the path, holding my gaze on the ground.

The birds quietly chirp in the trees, sunshine streaming through the leaves. My heart is as heavy as my steps, sadness creeping up my skin.

I know the way inside and out, the steps engraved into my mind. It's been a while since my last visit, not having the courage as the guilt only got bigger with each year passing by.

Taking a deep breath, I raise my head, the motion harder than I thought possible. I swallow hard, even though my throat is utterly dry all of a sudden.

In loving memory of
Manuel y/l/n

My eyes burn as the hold around the flowers tightens. I slowly lower myself down on the grass, numbness creeping over my skin as my fingers skim over the ground beneath me.

"Hey, dad." I whisper, voice shaking ever so slightly. "Long time no see."

The situation is absurd to me as I bite down on my lip. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes, pushing the doubt aside. In this heartache, the sun won't shine, burying me under a wave of bitterness.

The hurt that is still embedded into my soul, clawing its nails in me, can't leave me alone. Even years after his death, self-hate lingered inside me, reminding me of my actions that led to this situation in the first place.

"I brought you your favorites." I stare at the gravestone, a small smile playing around my lips. "I thought you would like some flowers, even if their beauty is transitory."

Laying the flowers on the ground, I pause for a second. With a quick glance around the graveyard, I realize that no other living soul is roaming the area, leaving me utterly alone with the weight of the atmosphere lingering around me.

"A lot happened while I last visited you, dad." I sigh, laying my head to the side as a single tear escapes my eyes. "Telling you about everything would take days, and I doubt that you have the nerve to listen to all of it, even though I know you wouldn't have the heart to stop me."