Loving This Man

My letter to you

September 9th 2012
The glance,the look,the stare we gave each other In that room explained a lot.we were hooked and there was no hiding that.
That smile,where each corner of my lips met my ears,followed by the hug.That hug that gave me the tingles from head to toe.But it was a good one.Only we could since every warm sensation running through our veins when we held each other.And even that graze your lingering fingers gave my arm and hands when passing.But I didn't mind cause to be honest I was soaking up every little bit of energy flowing between the two of us.
January 23,2013
Man one of the most happiest days a girl like me could ever have.Also one of the best birthday gifts a girl could ever receive.(You) yea that's right I said you.One of the best guys I've ever dated.Also the first guy I ever feel in love with.This marked our journey from then on out.
March 10,2015
The day that my thoughts of you completely changed.The man I thought I knew was completely changed,or even different in a matter.Or maybe the man that I met was the one that I am seeing today.Just that now the true colors are starting to show.Maybe the man I met then was just an imaginary person cause that man would have never do what he has done to me.He wouldn't dare hurt me this way.
I've never not once in our years of dating question our relationship.but I find myself not only questioning this relationship but I'm questioning you,me, us.Us as a hole.was we even meant to be? Was this even supposed to have lasted this long?Is this what love supposed to be like?
Did you ever love me? Are you even the man I feel in love with? Or are you even a man at all?
    You know i use to think that i had it all.And hey i thought your first and true love was everything.And yea maybe it is.But in this moment I don't necessarily feel that way.Actually i don't feel that way at all.And i know you guys might think that I'm acting as if nothings i said in the beginning doesn't mean anything or doesn't matter but really i means the world to me.But my views has changed dramatically.