Marked

Chapter 60: Just The Beginning

Vanessa frantically scribbled in her notebook during the entire meeting. She hardly looked up. I started looking for females to join the higher ranks, and she was simultaneously an obvious and not obvious choice. She still wasn't able to shift very well because of her pain issues, even with Kora's help, but it didn't matter. She was so good at everything else, she didn't need to be able to shift to be good enough to rank.

Kora had actually helped her pain in her human form enough that Nessa was training now and fought so well she actually challenged me. Her strategy and ability to think on her feet was amazing. And yet, as I watched her trying to keep up with the meeting, I remembered why she was the not obvious choice. She could kick ass, strategize, work well under pressure, all that was abundantly clear. What she lacked was confidence in herself. She tried to prove herself way too much, she doubted herself way too often.

"Nessa, stick around," I said, once the meeting ended.

Give us a minute, I linked Kane.

He nodded and everyone vacated the room except her and I. She looked at me nervously and I waited. People couldn't stand silence. They'd always try to fill it. She wouldn't last long. It was something else we needed to work on. Her nerves were all over the place.

"Luna, I took care of the list you gave me last meeting," she said, flipping through her notebook frantically like she wasn't sure she did.

"You did," I confirmed, nodding.

She didn't seem to know what to do next. This was what I was trying to fix, this inability for a lot of the female pack members to understand their worth. Bryce had taken a toll on them and yes, things improved with Kane, but he lacked the touch to make them feel comfortable enough to come forward and make their own place. As much as I loved him, he wasn't exactly approachable.

Vanessa looked at me questioningly. Bewildered.

"You've done nothing wrong," I assured her.

"Oh," she sighed, her shoulders dropping instantly. "What can I do for you, Luna?"

"If you were at the pack house and got a link saying we were under attack on the border, what would be your first move?" I asked.

"Get the vulnerable pack members to the safety house. Defending the border would be my priority if I was at the border but being at the pack house, my responsibility shifts," she said quickly and confidently. I didn't even have to wait for that confidence to slip, it came a split-second later. "Right?" She asked uncertainly.

"If you were hit by enough silver to the point it affected your ability to fight and were in the middle of a battle defending our pack, what would you do?" I tried again.

"I would fall back. My stubbornly staying would only put pack members at risk because they would try to defend me instead of staying focused," she said with a decisive nod. I really hoped she would stick to her guns but she didn't. "I mean, at least, I think so," she said, running her fingers through her hair like she always did when she was nervous. "Is this a test?"

"No, Nessa," I sighed, leaning forward in my chair and resting my elbows on the desk. "Look, I think you're incredible. I think you're strong and smart and you're so fast it's almost annoying. All those are great traits, traits we're looking for in a Gamma."

Her eyes lit up but there was also apprehension. I had a lot of work to do with her.

"The one thing I really need you to work on before I can give you that position, is confidence," I said, standing up and circling around the table. I sat on the desk in front of her and sighed. "Girl, seriously, you can't be second-guessing every instinct you have. We all doubt ourselves sometimes but the important thing is that even when we doubt ourselves, we follow through. You want to know why Dean keeps kicking your ass in training?"