There's A Fine Line Between Coincidence & Fate ✓

Chapter 29

I woke up before the dawn, as was custom after all these years in the desert. Rolling over, I came face to face with my husband. It wasn't often that I was up before him. I carefully extracted myself from the blankets and got dressed, prepared to go for a ride before the sun came up and set the desert on fire. I entered the coral that housed our family's horses, calling the beautiful white mare over to me. Shula had been a wedding present from Ardeth. In a nomadic tribe, a horse was a necessity and something that everyone had. Clucking at her, I placed the bridle on her head and a blanket on her back. I loved riding bareback. I had been riding horses since before I could walk, and this had always been my way of doing it. It felt more natural.

As we took off over the dunes, the dawn causing streaks of orange and pink to stretch out across the dark blue sky, I felt at peace. In the five years since coming to Egypt, losing my brother, and marrying Ardeth, I had changed. The events of Hamunaptra altered me and the years of living in the desert among the Medjai had given me a confidence that I did not think I would ever be able to possess. I reached a hilltop that overlooked the valley that we made our permanent home. The wind blew more freely up here, chilling me a little. I turned slightly on Shula's back, reaching into my back pocket and grabbed the letter I shoved in there on the way out of our tent.

Just like I promised my brothers I had remained in contact with them. I still carried the guilt over Jack's death. I don't think that will ever go away. But the ache has dulled ever so slightly with each passing year. But I hadn't let my family know I was alive yet. I opened the envelope addressed to me in James' handwriting, eager to read the news from home.

Dear Peggy,

I honestly never wanted to have to write this letter. Pa is sick. The doctor isn't sure what it is but he's just steadily getting worse. I'm not sure how Mama is going to handle it after losing you and Jack. I think it might be time for a visit home. I hope you'll come. I know it's been a while and we have all changed but you need this. We all need this. I'm hoping to see you soon.

Impatiently awaiting your arrival,
James

I wasn't sure at what point during that brief missive I started crying but I had to wipe my face off by the time I was done. My father was dying. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. He had always been such a large presence at home, untouchable, undefeatable. And now he was dying. How could I not go? I heard hoof steps coming up behind me. Ardeth must have woken up and realized where I would be.

"Are you ok my love?" he asked quietly.

"I don't think so. The last group to come back from Cairo had a letter from my brother with him."

"And what did James have to say? Which one of your siblings is expecting now?" he asked with a fond smile on his face.

"None that he's made me aware of. Ardeth, my dad... He's dying. And Mamma isn't doing well. I need to go home to visit. He can't die thinking I'm gone too." I explained, turning to face him.

"Then we will go." He told me.

"Can you be away that long? The tribes, they need their chieftain."

"I will leave Aman in charge. The day-to-day problems can be overseen by him and the elders. You need me more right now." He said, taking my hand and placing a kiss on it. This man never ceased to amaze me. His strong exterior, and boy what a strong exterior it was, housed the softest heart I'd ever see in a man. He was just and compassionate and honest. I just hoped my family could see all of that and not blame him for the choice I made all those years ago.

"Then we should hurry back and prepare for this long journey. James wasn't sure how long he had left." With that, we turned our horses and raced down the hillside, arriving within seconds of each other to the paddock where a stable hand was waiting to take care of our horses for us. Normally, I would insist upon brushing out Shula but with everything that needed to be handled, I just didn't have the time today. Ardeth and I split ways from there, with him going to speak with the elders and the family and myself to start packing.

Making it to Cairo was a blur. I don't think I've been sleeping properly and one day is bleeding into another as we board a boat that will take us to New York. From there we will catch a train to take us to San Antonio and from there we would be met by brothers, who I was able to send a telegram to and have them respond, and we would ride back to our homestead just west of the city. I could sense that Ardeth was uneasy and at first, he claimed seasickness. He did look a little green and I was almost positive that the only body of water he ever sailed on was the Nile which was a very different beast to the choppy waters of the Atlantic. If memory serves me right, Jack and Bernard spent most of the trip over with their heads either overboard or in the toilets.

We were sitting down for dinner on our first night at sea and I couldn't find it in me to be hungry. The food looked appetizing but either my nerves or the slight rocking of the ship wouldn't let me enjoy it. Ardeth had noticed and was feeding me water in an attempt to keep something in my stomach. After dinner we walked around the deck. As we settled down in our cabin for the night, I knew we couldn't avoid talking about what was bothering me anymore. "What if they're mad and don't want to see me? I mean, it's not like leaving was a super easy thing to do. We have responsibilities. Maybe I should've told them that I survived. What if they can't forgive me?" I was rambling, I knew but I had pushed this to the very back of my mind for so long, buried deep beneath the walls that I built to protect myself from that hurt.

"I know that this is stressful ya amar, but you need to calm down. You will work yourself into a panic if you don't breathe. I'm sure your family will just be happy that you're alive and well."

"It's been almost six years since I've seen them Ardeth. I'm not the same woman I was when I left them."

"You're right. You are now a fierce Medjai warrior queen." He said with a smirk on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes.

"You are from an entirely different plane of existence my husband. Maybe those words work on your wife in that other world, but your very earthly wife needs a little more convincing." I said, chuckling. To quiet any further complaints on my part, Ardeth rolled us over and pinned me underneath him, silencing my chuckles with a kiss. He still took my breath away as surely as he did the first time I laid eyes on him. As he took my nightgown off and entered me, I could've died from happiness.

Our first five years of marriage were not without challenges. Although the elders accepted our match and granted us their blessing to wed, there were many amongst the tribes who refused to accept an outsider as the wife of the chieftain, mother of the next chieftain. There were many women who saw me as unfit as I was not raised in the ways of the Medjai, jealous that Ardeth had chosen me. And along with those pressures there was the ever-present pressure to secure Ardeth's legacy and produce an heir. I honestly felt like a damsel in one of those medieval romance novels that Rose was always simpering over.

There was much that I struggled with, adjusting to this life but the failure to produce a child for Ardeth and our family was my one silent struggle. I knew it affected him too, but I did my best to keep the true depth of my own feelings to myself. No one knew how I would go on my morning rides just for some time away to shed my tears in privacy. I'm sure Ardeth had a vague idea but there was only so much he could do. Every month that I would fail, he would hold me and insist that it would happen in the gods' timing. As much as I loved that I didn't face those moments alone, sometimes silence would have been better. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him that. He was facing this just as I was, and we all had our own way of coping.

The next two weeks of the ocean crossing took way too long, in my honest opinion. I was seasick for most of it. Ardeth was growing more concerned with each passing day as I was having trouble keeping anything down. I managed to convince him I didn't need to see the ship's physician until the last night of our voyage. It had gotten so bad that I could hardly move, and he carried me down to the infirmary. I rolled my eyes at him as the doctor told him that it was most likely sea sickness as we were coming into port and that I should be fine once we were back on non-moving land. With a dosage of some anti-nausea syrup, he sent us back to our stateroom with my silent "I told you so" to Ardeth causing him to laugh.