Time And Again

Chapter 9

Johnny sat there thinking about how to start. The thing is, a real relationship is when you can tell each other anything. No secrets. No lies--- everything. A foundation of lies will always fall. He knows because that's what happened with Ali. They weren't honest from the get-go.

Putting his ice cream bowl on the table beside him, he angled his body towards her. Locking their eyes, he spoke with apprehension. "I hope you're comfortable because this may take a while, and in the end, you may decide you hate me." She turned and angled herself towards him in order to give him better attention. 

So he began with, "Over the summer before sophomore year, the guys and I went to see the new Rocky movie." This is how he told her all about the start of his and Ali's relationship. "But the thing is that I've had a lot of time on my hands recently. I've been forced to reflect on a lot of stuff, which I never do. Looking back now, I can see how I mainly dated her for a physical adrenaline rush. That's how it started, cause she was hot. Sure we got to know each other. A person knows another person really well after two years."

Nicole didn't quite know what to say, so she said nothing and just listened. "Even though we knew each other, we didn't know each other. I can't tell you anything serious about her. I have zero clue what she wants to do after graduation. We never talked about anything significant. Cheerleading, karate, date nights, movies, friends, looking hot, and making out; that's what we talked about. Last year, things started going downhill because I realized I wanted more than sex, but I never said anything."

Cutting in, she asked, "Why? Why didn't you say something? I'm sure she probably felt the same way."

He played with the tab from his beer can. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't have known it. I didn't say anything because Ali had started this thing where she would criticize what I do. It all amounted to I wasn't good enough cause she had grown bored with me also. You say you and I are opposites, but Ali and I were too. Her criticisms would lead to big arguments, which would lead to me drinking with the guys. And that's how I forgot her birthday."

His shoulders slumped slightly, and he tore his eyes away from her. "So apparently my type is... how did your friend Kate put it... a good time girl? I'm not interested in a good time. I mean, having a good time, sure. I can always crush it with the best of them. But I'm at the point now where I want more than that. I want something real. Something more than sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, especially with me cause I'm all man, but there's more to life. I can't believe I said that out loud."

She chuckled at those final words. However, she thought, "Everything you said tells me you've matured, Johnny Lawrence. You've grown up, and now you're willing to put feet to your heart. I also think it's very big and brave of you to soul search and realize that what you had with Ali is not what you want forever. Cause you're right. Physical attraction can only do so much. You have to have a deeper connection on many different levels at some point. That's just as important, and if you neglect it, it will only force you into seeing it later."

She bit her lip and looked away as she spoke. "But truth be told, I've never been physical with a guy. I haven't even been kissed before. So, if you're looking for a lot of physical stuff from me, I might not be what you want."

Scooting over to her, he took her head in his hands. It forced her to look at him, and he wiped a few stray tears that had fallen. "But I do want you, Nicole. I knew it the first time I talked with you that day at Bumpers. If I wanted only physical, sure, I'd go somewhere else. The truth is I don't want just the physical stuff anymore. I want this, what we've been doing. This whole talking thing is new to me, and while I'm not the best at feelings and emotions, I could get used to talking to you every day."