The End of Time

2. The Aftermath

I woke up in the Tiber Septim Hotel. Irony at its finest. Jauffre was drenched in sweat, and had bags under his eyes. He was wiping my forehead with a warm wet cloth, and had bandaged up my side from where I'd been bitten by that Clannfear. He had countless empty bottles of potions and salves lining the tables and counters. He was in a faded white flannel with the sleeves rolled up, and suspenders were holding up his black breeches. He looked at me with a concern that almost broke my heart. But my heart was already broken beyond repair.

I looked at him groggily, still not quite all there. "Father?" I said raspily. "Not quite." He said with a grin as he cupped my cheek in his hand. I laid my hand on his arm, and he smiled at me with tears in his eyes as he lifted my hand and kissed it. He held eye-contact with me, and said "How are you feeling?" As soon as he asked that question, everything came crashing back to me. Martin was gone, and it was very unsettling to not feel him in the bed next to me.

I felt a coat of steel go over my heart, and I completely shut down every emotion I had. I responded in a solid, cold tone. "A little stiff, but good." He looked at me desperately, and knew I was gone. He nodded, and said "Alright. If you're ready, we need to get back to Cloud Ruler Temple." I nodded, then said "Alright." I stood up, and winced at the pain from my knee. "Are you alright?" He asked in a concerned tone. "I'm fine. Just need to get my legs back under me." I said coldly. He nodded, and threw me my boots. I was so deadly cold to the world I caught them with a staggering ferocity and accuracy. I could see the mournful look in his eyes, and knew he wasn't only mourning for the loss of Martin, but for the loss of my old self, as well.

I strapped up, and I hobbled out the door as best I could, letting the least amount of weakness and pain show. We got out to the stables, and we mounted our horses. We rode up to Bruma, not even stopping to camp. When we got to Cloud Ruler, we dismounted, and walked up the steps. I was met by my best friend Baurus running to me at full speed. He engulfed me in a hug, and I just stood there, unmoving. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "I'm fine." I said as I moved out of his embrace. I walked up the steps, and to the main gate.

When I walked in, my heart sank when I didn't see him sitting at the table reading a book, and looking up to smile at me. I felt my walls come tumbling down, and my eyes started to burn. I shook the feeling away, and fast paced my way out, and up to our room which had always been my place of retreat. I stopped cold after opening the door. I looked around, and everything was exactly as we'd left it. All our books were still on the counter, and our alchemy lab still had the stains from previous potions we'd brewed on it.

I realized very quickly the mistake I'd made. I walked slowly over to our bed, and here was a note with my name in his writing on the front. I let out a small gasp, and picked it up. The first line read "My angel," That was how he introduced it. I let out a sob, and closed it. I wouldn't be able to read it right now. As tears collected in my eyes, I did everything in my power to try and stop it. I heard a familiar pattern of quiet footsteps approach the door. "Sweetie..." I heard Jauffre say.

There was no use. I got up off the bed and ran into his outstretched arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I wept into his shoulder, as he held me tightly in his familiar embrace. I hadn't been in his arms like this since I got that gash when I was very young. I was so overcome with sadness. "Jauffre, I miss him..." I said shakily. "I know my dear. I miss him, too." He said as he rubbed my back.

I was surrounded in his embrace, and was pressed as tightly against him as I could get. I needed him right now, more than I ever had. "Oh Gods, Jauffre... What am I going to do?" I asked as I sobbed into his shoulder again. "Carry on, my child." He said shakily. I just cried harder, and he rocked me in silence. He didn't say "It's alright." Because it wasn't. It never would be again.

Once I'd finally calmed down, I sat there in his arms for a while. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. This is all my fault." My eyebrow furrowed as I sniffed and said "What is?" He shook his head and said "I shouldn't have thrown you into all this. You are too young to have been through all you've done, and so was Martin. You're only fifteen, Martin only sixteen. I should've had someone else do it. You are too young..." - "Jauffre, I can handle it." - "No." He cut in abruptly. "You were my responsibility. I should've known better than to let him get too close to you, and here I let you two fall in love. I had a feeling something bad was going to happen. I let you get hurt, and I knew better. I should've done something..."

"No, Jauffre. Even if you had done something, we still would've fallen for each other. We were in love for a reason. Do you think the Gods would've let you interfere with that? Don't blame this on yourself, Jauffre. You're a very smart man, and did what you felt was right." He looked down into my eyes, and said "How does a girl your age become so wise?" I grinned weakly and said "Well, I haven't exactly had the best day. That, and I learned from the best." He chuckled slightly, and kissed my forehead as he rocked me again. I'd always been able to make him smile, no matter what mood he was in. Just like Martin.