Softie

Chapter 19

Jayda's POV

"I know, but I'm really not lying." I lied. "You are." She said a little louder. "Why are you yelling? Why can't you just believe me." I said back. "Because I know your lying, and you know I hate that, so why don't you just tell me the truth!" She yelled.

"There's nothing to fucking tell you billie, just get out!" I yelled immediately regretting it. "Wait no I didn't-." She cut me off. "No it's fine, I'll just go because clearly you don't want to tell me and I get that, but don't lie to me about it, and then kick me out when you were the one who invited me." She said before leaving, slamming the door in the process.

I groaned as I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I always fucking do this. I push the people I love away. All because I can't handle my emotions. It's bullshit. I curled into a ball and pulled the cover over my head.

I miss my dad so much.

The next day
Monday, September 14, 2022

I woke up to my alarm blaring in my ear. I laid in bed staring at the blackness of my cover. Soon I heard a knock on my door. "Sweetie? You have school." She said as she peeled the covers back. "Do you want to go? I heard what happened with you and your brother." She said.

"I just wanna stay home for a bit." I said quietly. I knew she felt sorry for me. She didn't want to see me in another dark place. She doesn't want to see me how she saw me when dad first died. "Ok, if you need anything call me ok? I'm headed off to work." She told me softly.

Without responding she left my room with a sigh. I knew I was going to be home alone because my brother is at work and my sister has to go to school. I pulled the cover back over my head as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

Billie's POV

"For fuck sake." I mumbled as I heard Jayda's voicemail for the 20th time. "Don't stress over it, maybe she just over slept." Raven said. It's now 2nd period and Jayda still isn't here. I wanted to apologize because it was never that deep for me to get mad.

I could see she was going through something and I still pushed her. "She would've been showed up by now, plus her sister is here." I snapped. I sighed. "I'm sorry, I just- we got into an argument." I said as I rubbed my forehead.

"It's ok billie, I understand. Just give her a couple of days." She said as the teacher began teaching. A few days couldn't hurt right?

Boy was I wrong.

A week later
Monday, September 21, 2022

It's been a week since anyone has heard from Jayda and I'm becoming worried. I've tried asking her sister, but she just stares at me and then walks off. Maybe she heard our argument. Jayda did say she'll only be mean if I hurt her.

I sighed as the bell rung for the end of the day. I found Jayda's sister and stopped her. "Hey wait!" I yelled. "what?" She asked. "I'm sorry if I made your sister upset, it was never my intention to. I just- I just wanted to help." I said quietly.

Anxiety was something I've always dealt with. I just somewhat knew how to control it. Sometimes I'd stutter or even play with my rings. "I'm not mad at you billie, and you didn't make Jayda upset." She said.

"Well could you p-please tell her to call me? I-I just want t-to apologize." I said as I became nervous. "Billie did you know her dad died?" She asked. "Y-yes." I said quietly. "Did you know there's certain names she doesn't like to be called because it reminds her to much of her dad?" She asked.

"W-well no n-not really." I said nervously. Am I supposed to know these things? "Well there is, and our idiot of a brother so happened to call her one, and she's depressed, because all of those memories of our dad are flooding thru her brain. She's not upset with you billie, she's upset with herself for pushing you away, but that's just how she copes with things, nothing personal." She said.

Her dad of course, why didn't I think of that? "So if you really wanna talk to her, ride home with me." She said. "S-so you don't hate m-me?" I asked. "what?" She questioned. "Well it's just that Jayda said If I hurt her then you w-would-." She cut me off.

"I would, but you didn't hurt her so there's no reason for me to hurt you. Unless your not telling me something." She said. "Uh n-no I didn't upset her." I said quickly. "Good, get in." She said. I gulped before getting in the car.

We drove in complete silence the whole way to her house. We soon arrived and she unlocked the door with her keys. "Go on." She said as she went to her room. I swallowed dryly before knocking on her bedroom door.

"Come in." I heard faintly. I walked in while fiddling with my ring. "Uh h-hi." I said nervously as my head jerked to the side. "Hey billie, what are you doing here?" She asked as she sat up a bit. "Uh I w-wanted to talk to you." I said as my head jerked to the side again.

I was nervous. You could tell. "Calm down first." She said as she hugged me. I sighed and hugged her back. "I miss you so much princess." She said quietly. "I missed you too bubba." I said. "A-Are you ok?" I asked as I pulled away from her.

"I don't know." She sighed as she laid back on her bed. "I'm just so used to hiding my emotions about my dads death, but now that I'm being reminded of him it's kind of hard to do." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

She quickly wiped it away. "You shouldn't have to hide it bubba. He was your dad, your person I'm guessing. You shouldn't have to push your grief away. You're allowed to grieve, and you're allowed to feel things. But this." I said as I gestured to her state.

"Is not going to get you anywhere." I said. "So let me help you yea? You can't always be the strong one in the relationship." I said softly. "Okay." She mumbled. "I just miss him." She said as she hugged me.

"Let it out baby." I said as I softly rubbed her back. She sobbed into my chest as I held her. "Your ok, I got you." I said softly. "How about I run you a bath, that sound good?" I asked her. She sniffled and wiped her tears.

"Yea, that sounds great."

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A/n- Sorry for mistakes, stay safe. Love you.!

1154 words