Name: CuddleDucky2249
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Mastermind: Em–em-dash–jay, that's my bestie, I'm afraid. Sorry to all the other capital–em-dash–M masterminds out there, but you couldn't be her.
Expertise: Hacker. In all my years I have never seen someone pound a keyboard as fervently and mindlessly as me. Remember that one time you tried to get on to Moshi Monsters but accidentally clicked the wrong link and had to spend an afternoon explaining to the Geek Squad why anime girls are dancing across your laptop screen? Yeah, that was me. Woopsies.
Mugshot: Felt cute today, no guarantees about tomorrow. I change my hair like you change your mind and thus, like a girl changes clothes, by the transitive property. Pretty pale because if I go out in the sunlight I literally catch fire and die. Would go all out with the blush and the draw-on freckles but mask because hot girls still wear their masks. And I'm the perfect size to fit in a carry-on bag. If that matters, because I'm not paying admission to get into this boring old museum. You'll normally find me head-to-toe in my merch, that stuff is mint. Oh that? On my shoulder? Yeah, that's the commemorative misprinted Ducky Momo "I Hate People'' pin, good eye!
Criminal Profile: I'm just pretty normal I guess. As normal as I can be when my life is a TV show that does better numbers than Cowboy Bebop. People say I'm high-energy, that's the one I always get, but I'm just passionate about nothing. Like, I am passionate, but about nothing, like I can talk about a puddle for an hour and a half, but otherwise... yeah. I feel like a lot of people are like that, but they put their energy into pretending they're not. I put my energy into emphasizing that I am. I just want to be loved like the rest of us.
Criminal Record: Who all gets to see these? This is my first job, I swear. MJ is one of my subs, and she reached out to me to see if I was interested in tweaking the nature of my hacks from entertainment to, well, you'd have to ask her what's a word that starts with 'E' that describes whatever she has in store for us. And whatever it is, I haven't even done it yet, so back off you pigs!
Signature: I once hacked into Elon Musk's Twitter account in front of 50K viewers.
Other: Subscribe to twitch.tv/cuddleducky2249
YOU ARE READING
Author Games: Caper Crew
AdventureSome might call the new security measures the Eupemian Institute plans on installing 'overkill' for a single temporary exhibit, but there's not much they wouldn't be willing to do to secure one and a half billion dollars in easily liquefiable assets...
