Old one

Confusion

„Are fucking serious?" I storm into his room. „Lia! I told you only use the key in emergencies" Tyler holds his heart and breathes out, relieved that it's just me.

„You told my parents?" I ignore his heart attack. „Do you want something to drink? To eat?" he ignores me like I did. „Tyler!" I get him to look away from his computer. „Yes I told them...well your mom" he turns around in his gaming chair. „Why?!" I throw my arms in the air, feeling frustrated. „I know you wouldn't tell me how you feel so I told her that I think you're struggling again, just so she can keep an eye on you"

„If my dad finds out, I'm dead" I pace in circles around his room. „I'm sure Nora won't tell him" he stands up and grabs my shoulders to stop me from walking. „She will. She's gotten so close to him again" I sit down on his bed. "She knows how you'll feel about telling him, why would she tell him?" He tries to comfort me. "No you don't understand, he got her wrapped around his finger again" I look at him, trying to make him understand.

"But she's still the same to you right?" He frowns. "That's not the point. She can be as nice as she wants, the second he finds out he's going to be so mad" I let my head fall into my hands. "Why is he going to be mad? He's literally one of the reasons"

"Tyler I don't know okay? You know how my dad is. He doesn't want to spend any unnecessary money no more" I gesture quotation marks with my fingers around the word 'unnecessary'. "If he doesn't want to he will maybe help you" his voice lowers a bit. "You could've at least tell me before you go talk with her" I let myself fall backwards on his bed. "No you would've manipulated me into not doing it" he looks back at me, watching how I get offended. "Im not manipulating. You all just don't understand how it is to have someone who'll mentally destroy you if you do something wrong" I stand up, getting sensitive again.

"And you don't know how it is to be worried about someone all the time, worrying if they tell you the truth or starve themselves to death" he stands up too, raising his voice. "I'm not starving myself to death" I repeat for the thousands time. "See you can't tell me the truth because you won't even admit it. Lia I don't care if you want to hear it or not but you are sick and you need help" he steps closer, making me really uncomfortable because he normally doesn't act like that towards me.

"I'm not and I don't need to hear the same words over and over. "You can do it", "we'll help you", "we're here for you", "You need help". I don't care! I don't want and need this. It didn't help the last time and it won't help this time. At this point just leave me alone and let me starve myself to death." I shout at him and make myself to the door.

"Are you fucking serious?" He aggressively seizes my wrist and grabs my face. "How dare are you to say something like that? You don't want to die" his jaw is sharp, his voice is loud but his hands are gentle on my head.

"You're telling me I'm starving myself all the time but when I say it it's a problem?" I swallow down the lump in my throat. "Yes. You're already not stable and hearing you talk like that makes me want to throw up. You can't just say something like that" he looks at me like he never did, serious, mad, sad, confused. It's like he's feeling every emotion that exists.

"Then please stop saying it to me. Of course I don't want to but you talking about it all the time makes me want to prove you right" it's like a challenge. "I'm sorry. I just lov- you mean too much to me and thinking about you having to go through it again is driving me crazy" he looks into my eyes with his hands still holding my head. "I know, I'm sorry" I keep my sentences short, afraid I'll break down. "Don't apologize" he whispers.

For a moment there's silence but then I recognize this look. "Stop looking at me like you want to kiss me" I let out a chuckle and get out of his hold, loosening the tension a bit.  "Says you" he clears his throat. „I wasn't looking anywhere I have a boyfriend" I lift my hands in defense. „I know that" he mumbles.