Aliya

chapter forty

I DIDN'T SEE MARYAM AGAIN, but the days that had previously crept by now seemed to pass in a blur. When Sunday finally came and Maryam reached out to pull down my blanket, I was already wide awake.

As she dressed me, lining my eyes with kohl and muttering to herself about, "No jewelery, it will cause too much noise," I stared at the sky reflected in the bronze mirror, just visible through the window.

I didn't feel like I had slept peacefully all night, and as the sky started to show streaks of pink and maroon, I suddenly felt tired.

"Miss, you should put on a coat," Maria whispered. "At this time, it will be cold out."

As she wooden moved my arms into the mantle, I couldn't help but laugh. "Maria," I whispered, "why do us women need to exist if the world is for men to conquer?"

Maria's hands paused, before she bowed her head lower and said, "I don't know, Miss."

"Yes, no one does. In this world, are there women who aren't playthings?"

Even if Maryam went away today, would she ever truly be free?

If I came with her now, would I?

I didn't know, but I didn't have the courage to break my only friend's wings just as she tried to fly. And in a small, little way, I didn't want to break my own, either.

Just as the sun started to peek through the distance, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maria move to the doorway, but in the next moment, I found that I had already beat her to it.

When I placed my hands on the doorknob, I noticed they were shaking, and had to reach up to press a fist against my chest so as not to cry out.

My heart was pounding too fast, like I had been poisoned.

I opened the door.

Ahmad stood on the other side, head bowed down, eyes trained to his feet. His training had been ingrained into his very bones.

"Apologies for the disturbance, Miss," he said, his voice pleasant and rough as only a soldier's voice could be. "The Palace currently does not allow you to walk around. In order to guide you to Miss Maryam, I ask you to please follow behind me, and we can move as soon as possible.

I nodded, turning to Maria. "You stay here," I said, "and do not be suspicious. When breakfast comes, accept it as usual."

Maria nodded, eyes big and afraid, and when the doors closed behind me with a thump, Ahmad had already begun moving.

"This way, please, Miss," he said. Throughout the entire time, I was not able to properly see his face.

Ahmad seemed to know the Palace well. Although the Palace was currently locked down, it was inevitable to encounter a group of scuttling maids or butlers rushing to prepare everything for the day's work. Throughout the entire way, I kept reaching up to pull my mantle closer around me, as if by doing so, I could hide the fact that I was a woman. But the routes Ahmad chose led us behind the kitchen, up a small, wooden flight of stairs, and into a tiny hallway that I had never before seen.