Wanted (finished)

Dirty

:) I'm do excited to get this one updated omg !!!!!!!!

Alex pov

I began to pace about the room . How bad were her cuts? How much blood had she lost ? She kept insisting she was fine , I could not believe that. Now she was sitting on her bed , a bit dazed, but looking scared to death. I knew we had not hurt her yet . Storm slapped her, big deal , NOT. But by hurt I mean it in another way.you know what i mean . looking onto her eyes I saw a shadow of sadness hidden behind a carefully built wall of secrecy . I could see she tried to fit in . She straightened her long dirty blonde hair , wore nice clothing , and put on a typical amount of makeup. To anyone she looked like s typical 14 year old. But behind her strong hold there was a horrible mess. That wall had been broken . That mess unleashed.

I drifted put of my trance as I saw her , she had fallen asleep . Seeing the steady flow of breath I thought she was dead out. Walking to her bedside , I touched her face whispering to myself " such a waste she was so beautiful, so troubled already . " I felt a tear escape my eye. What had I done to her? Laying down on the bed next to her, I held her hand . She was so lovely when she slept. Trying so hard to control myself , I bent onto my side for a kiss. It continued for a long forced minute. She was definitely awake , to scared to move . I willed myself to move , but, nothing happened. I felt her body tense as I fell ontop of her, not purposely . Out of breath from the kiss she tried to push me off . I was too heavy . A small whimper found it's way out of her as she pulled herself put of the okward position . Falling out of my trance I moved . I felt dirty and evil . I felt bad and so sorry. I didn't mean to , I didn't . " sorry" I said looking at the ground . " I won't kiss you again" she nodded too scared to contradict . Although I wasn't looking at her I could tell she was crying . out of small gasps she said

"it wasn't the kiss I minded it was you just kinda fell limp over me and uh it just well brought back memories" what has Steve done ???? I swear I'll kill him if I ever saw him again , I would beat him until he bleed to death . He would pay . I had to pay. I had to punish myself for my actions . I had hurt her , she had been offended . Picking up a shard of glass I cut "BAD" into my forehand . It would be there to remind me.

"what memories?" I finally mustered up the courage to say . Tears started streaming even faster and louder. She spoke between short uneven breaths . "he raped me!" her words had no emotion, just blank killed words. I had done bad thing but not even that , I murmured . I wanted to hug her and hold her close . Say it'll be ok and I love you . But no I was the one who made the tears happen . I wanted to die , feeling dirty and heartless I sat down next to her. She tensed and shivered. I'd do anything to make her trust me .