You don't have to hurt me to love me | Moon Knight

Rise and fall

- 2 months later -

"WHERE IS HE?!?" You ask agitated, fingers pulling your hair as you pace around the small apartment. 

Steven was sitting silently in a corner of the bed. He took in the black bags under your eyes, parched lips, and tear-stained cheeks. 

Breathing out a sigh, he got up from the bed, glaring at the mirror that still showed his regular reflection, before coming closer to you, hands held in front of you as if he was approaching a terrified yet dangerous animal.

"Hey love, come here," he whispered, pulling you into his arms, your tense shoulders relaxing under his touch. He sighed as tears start to fall on his shirt, your entire body trembling under his touch.

The last few months felt like a scene out of a movie, where someone cruelly rewinds to see their favorite characters in pain and tears.

You were stuck in a loop.

Steven was always there, pouring in love and support in the ever-growing emptiness inside your heart that was fueled by confusion, fear, and anger. 

His soft touches and strength were the only thing that was preventing you from breaking apart. He was the only thing that was keeping you sane and anchoring you to reality when you woke up crying in the middle of the night or when you zoned out during the day. 

"I am tired sunshine. I am genuinely so fucking tired and angry. There is so much anger here" you said patting your heart "I just don't know what to do anymore. Where is he?" you sputtered.

"I know. I know my love. I am so sorry." he muttered into your hair, patting your back. You knew that he was ignoring your question about Marc's absence. He has been doing so since the very beginning. His heart beating out of his chest, hammering against your ear, as he struggled to find the best way to handle this situation.

"I... I am sorry too. I know these past few months have been difficult for you too, and I definitely didn't help" you sighed shaking your head into his shirt, his heart slowing down as your hands wrapped around his waist.

"No, it's okay. It's not your fault at all!" Steven responded softly as he shook his head. He held your chin between his thumb and index finger, pulling your face out of his shirt so that he could look at you.

He was surprised just as much as you were to see and feel the fresh trail of tears that continued to stream down your face. Your skin was slowly burning up, the dehydration and emotional stress finally seemed to take their toll on your body.

"Love, please stop. It's okay. Marc is fine. I promise. Please stop crying. I can't bear to see you fall sick, he is okay. We are okay..." he begged frantically as he pressed soft kisses around your face. 

You nodded your head, his name twisting your heart in a painful way. You looked up at Steven's scrunched eyebrows. Worry interlaced with fear. The same thing that you had been feeling for so long and you were aware he was too. You couldn't add on to those bundle of emotions that could so easily break both of you.

So you pulled him down to press a soft kiss on his forehead, as if to let him know that you were really okay, his face relaxing under your lips.

He sighed softly as you pull back to look at him briefly before tugging him forward into a kiss. Your hands were frantic, moving everywhere, struggling to hold onto him, hold onto his very being, afraid to let him go... afraid to lose him too. He pulled you closer, feeling your desperation and your fear. A soft gasp escaped your mouth as he let you go, only to pick you up and take you to bed, his lips finding their way back to yours.

After placing you on the mattress, he climbed on top of you, your hands pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt. Your kisses were getting messy, now fueled by sympathy and he knew it. 

"It's not your fault love. Don't worry. We got this. He will come around, I promise." He whispered between harsh gasps.

You took the hand that was on your hip and placed it at the edge of your shirt, begging him to hold you as close as possible tonight.

"Not tonight my love. Not like this." He shook his head softly, understanding where you wanted this to go, but knowing that it wouldn't help either of you, no matter how much you craved each other tonight.

He pulled back to place a soft kiss on your lips before reaching towards the bedside table and grabbing a pair of wet wipes. His eyes glanced across the mirror, not paying any attention to his reflection as he tenderly wiped your face.

You nodded, sighing softly and taking in his love. After disposing of the wipes, he settled down next to you. You crawled into his waiting arms as he wrapped the blankets around the both of you. The soft rise and fall of his chest, accompanied by the scent of old books and wood, his fingers rubbing small circles on your back, allowed sleep to slowly take over your body and your restless mind. 

In the heaviness of sleep that comes with an exhausted mind, you heard Marc, his voice stirring your consciousness, just enough to grab hold of your heart, but not enough for it to be separated from the mirage of dreamland. 

"I love you kitten and I am so so sorry"