Writing Dreams

The Downfalls

Among my downfalls as a person is trying to be "Pious" but lacking the decency to accept the dark secrets I am having.

I am reluctant to accept my self due to the fear that people might know what I am and what I have been through. I might accidentally blabber it out or just write about it and people might know.

You may have been through something bad but that is not who you really are.

Say you have a bar of gold. You go to the blacksmith/jeweller and ask for him to produce for you 6 necklaces and rings.

Question: are the jewelries you have still called GOLD?

But I am human being and it does not make sense!

Questions: You see an old beggar begging for alms on the street and on the other side, a rich woman with fancy clothes, would you refer to the old lady as an animal and the rich woman a human?

What makes a human human?

Is it the clothes or the money that he/she has or is it the appearance that he/she has?

What affects how you see and describe things and people? Is it their experiences that made you say make them humans? Is it the way they treat people and the things entrusted to their care? Is it the pattern of their thinking and whether or not they are imbeciles or maybe geniuses?

I sometimes feel ashame that I wander around, see things, hear things and do nothing because is it safe to be on the safe side.

To not get my self involve in anything means to not make any mistake or worst, tarnish my reputation. You may think maybe it is better not to have any care about anything you think you can not solve. I mean "who am I?". "If others would not do then why would I?"

Sometimes I just pass by a beggar thinking that syndicates are using them to gain money. Their awful situation, the bad guys used them to their advantage.

The knowledge about something like this (even without proving that they are members of a syndicate) already changed how I would react whenever I see beggars on streets.

Some people would think "ahh, I worked hard and I earn only a little, why would I even care to share? Surely, there are many people out there? Why me?"

Then a passer-by put a coin on the beggars bag. You then feel a little obliged and a little ashamed that you did not put a coin. A coin would not hurt your pocket, would it?

Still you go on your way and went back to bed to retire and have some rest.

The next day, the same thing happened, you passed by and rested in your home. Then a few days after, then again, and again.

You thought "maybe if I put a coin, the beggar would expect that I will put a coin again the next time I see her?."

That selfish part of you is somehow glad you did not but another side of you thought "maybe if I gave a coin on several times, it could have helped the beggar buy the food?".

I know nothing much about human psychology but what I know is that psychological problems occurs when the actions become incongruent with the beliefs and mentality of a person.

I do not say "tolerate the bad mentality to avoid insanity".

NO. I say show people the duality of life.

Whatever they may choose to be is their responsibility. If they become a burden to themselves, it is their ego or conscience that is going to run after them.

If they become a public menace, it is by societal standards to keep them in a place to rehabilitate.

If, for example, you caused someone to be incarcerated because you planted some bad things and plans into his situation, maybe you should also seek psychological help and evaluation.

If, for example, it is due to demonic or supernatural activity, I do not know how to deal with it. May God help us all.

But some things are out of our control.

I might just say "Let God handle it. God will come. Surely, maybe just not immediately but He will".

I may sound sarcastic but I do not intend to be.

All I know is that the type/classification of the problem gives us the idea of what the solution may be.

May the demon not copy our ways or use them against us. I do not know what problems this would cause.

I believe God sees. God hears. He knows everything.

He will be able to help us if we help ourselves first.