Silly little town - the league of gentlemen

Introduction

19th may 1999

Royston Vasey, some would say a total hell hole but for Martha Harris, it was home and for her, that was all that mattered.
At the end of the day, Royston Vasey wasn't paradise you didn't need to remind her about that but it was definitely her favourite place besides she grew up on a council estate just like many people in Royston Vasey. So her parents couldn't exactly afford foreign holidays.

It was a warm Friday afternoon and I had planned to head over to my brother Mike's house He had recently been married to his new wife Cheryl she was a nice woman overall but something about Geoff one of Mikes best mates just made him despise her, maybe it was her weight even though he pointed out multiple times how she was "a big old fattie" I mean she isn't that big she's only about the same size as Barbara and really Barbara isn't big at all!

I also didn't live alone I lived in the spare bedroom of Stella and Charlie Hull's house.
Stella had been my best mate since primary school we always used to find our ways to sneak food into the lessons it always was fun until once she hit the age of 18 her gambling problem started.
Sometimes I speak to Charlie about it he feels the same way I do he believes that she needs to stop before it gets out of hand.

Like Stella, she doesn't really listen and recently she's had an affair with Tony somebody who works in the town.
Ive never really liked Tony he was alright but overall he was a big pervert I can remember one time I was wearing a red dress that wasn't exactly that long so I understand why he was looking but I caught him starring at my arse. It was in fact at Mikes wedding I still don't undestand why he was invited. Once Mike caught he staring he was quick enough to send a punch across his face sort of causing a scene that didn't exactly stop Tony though. I still sometimes see him send a smirk across the room I'm not lying when I say I literally want to rip my guts out when he sends a smirk in my direction

I ran down the stairs and said goodbye to Stella I couldn't say goodbye to Charlie because he wasn't in the house he was at work he just started a job at Judee Levinson's "spit and polish" massage and waxing parlour
"Alright bye Stel i'll see you later you know where I am If u need me" I said

"Yeha yeah don't worry about me i'll probably meet you at the pub later!" she shouted down the stairs

Then I slammed the door and carried on my walk.
I walked past the butchers and then remember how Mike told me to get some sausages for Geoff and Cheryl so I quickly stopped and opened the door to the butcher

Hilary Briss stood in front of me with his arms crossed then he spoke "how are you, today miss Harris?"
"I'm fine uh can I have a string of twelve sausages please," I said staring down at the counter then I heard a small chuckle from the man next to me "ooo cheeky!" he laughed
"Beg your pardon" I said giving him a stare
Then Hilary quickly cut me off and said "right string of twelve sausages that'll be £3:99"
I quickly handed him £4:00 and left

I continued walking down the street until I came across Brian one of Mike's best mates
Technically he found me first because he just left his house and shouted "Oi Martha!"

I quickly turned around and said, "oh you alright Brian?" "Yeah, I'm good you heading to Mike's house?" he asked

"Yeah I am actually," I said
"Oh well walk with me then? I'm heading there too" he said

As we were walking we spoke about strange and random things until we finally came across his house
"At least we are here now" I said knocking on the door

Soon enough Mike opened the door "hiya you lot! Geoff and Cheryl are in the living room" he said turning towards the kitchen. Then I and Brian walked into the living room to be greeted by Geoff and Cheryl

"How are you all I feel as though I haven't seen you for ages!" I said pulling Cheryl into a hug before dropping onto their sofa

"So I don't get a bloody hug then?!" Geoff said slouching down into the arm rest
"Oh Geoff if you wanted a hug you've always got Bri," I said chuckling before getting the finger from both of them

"Anyway what have you lot been up to then?" I ask
Then they all proceed to tell me about what they had done on the weekend

"Well... You'll never guess what job I'm trying to get!" I say with a massive smile
"What's that then Martha," Brian asks me

"I'm trying to get a job at spit and polish!With Judee Levinson" I explain
"Oh that's great you've got the looks for it at least... Unlike some people" Geoff said quickly looking at Cheryl

"But wait a minute hang on isn't that the place where you can get a handjob for 20 quid!" Geoff shouted
"You what! What you on about" I shouted

"No no he's definitely right that Judee is giving out 'special treatment'" Brian explained

"Jesus Christ Charlie works there" I explained
"Now wouldn't it be mad if after all this time it were him giving out the handjobs," I said chuckling

"Awh don't say that now I had mine booked in" Geoff shouted
"Bloody gross Geoff we don't wanna hear about your personal life" Mike shouted

"It Wouldnt surprise me if you did end up going there Geoff anyways! I best be off I got that interview in 20 minutes" I say before leaving

I'm guessing I'm one of the lucky ones at least I wasn't on the dole like some people I was at one point though. I met this man there called Ross Gaines turns out he liked and I liked him back we only went out with each other for a month then I found out he had sex with Pauline the person that works at the jobcentre
Soon enough I obviously ended it and I haven't really seen him since.
Soon after I heard a loud shout coming down from the jobcentre window upstairs

"Help!" somebody shouted
If I'm being honest it did sound like Ross "you alright?" I shouted back up
"No no! I'm not alright help me"

"Bloody dream on mate if I don't get this interview ill be on the dole like you!" I shout back up then I just continue on my way over to spit and polish

Once I finally arrived a realised there was a cue to the inside
To my surprise it was pretty obvious that it was all men. I pushed my way around them all earning a few "oi wait your turn" but I completely ignored them and walked straight in.