A weakened light ( Marc / Steven fanfic )

a weak thread

( warning! mentions of child abuse / this starts off in the asylum when steven is looking through those memories )

After That dumb hippo told us we needed to search through our memories to unlock those memories we've Suppressed deep in our mind. I immediately know whats going to be uncovered, i get this sick feeling in my stomach, like im going to vomit from the nervousness, i cant let steven see that memory. Fuck. i have to do something, i thought to myself, "hey why dont we just go kill that hippo, i mean whats the point of all this anyway?" I say with a shaken voice, Steven darts at me "Well bloody hell Marc sounds like your scared i'll find something." Before i can even respond he's running through a door to a room i know to familiar of, "Steven!" i yell as i chase after him god damn it. Steven looks around with a sick expression, "Marc.. are these.." He says while looking at me, i walk aroujd to examine their faces, "new york.." i say to myself as i realize "This room is full of people.. dead people, marc.. dead people you killed, isnt that right..?" Steven asks shakenly, I look at him "yeah just.. yeah."

I walk over to him, seeing the scales, steven shouts "hey! the scales! they're not.. as wonky.. as before, maybe we're on the right track!" Steven smiles excitedly, Going to look at Marc before he sees a young boy.

No.
No.
No.

"Steven.." Marc says, going to reach out to him "lets just get out of-" i was cut off by steven "why is there a child in a room full of people you killed..? hey! little boy! its okay." Steven says, slowly approaching the little boy. "Steven hey dont!" I yell following him, The younge boy starts to run, Steven of course chases him. "Steven!!" I shout, following him as he runs to another door "Steven stop!!" i shout, Steven goes through the door FUCK. i go to open the door but i was locked out "Steven open the door!! steven!!" I bang on the door, pleading for him to open the door. Before i knew it i can hear the crys of RoRo and my past i worked so hard to shut out of my mind. Fuck. Fuck. No. Steven you dumbass. I walk around the halls trying to find a way to steven, i stopped in my tracks as i look at a doors reflection.

It was my mothers.

I feel my legs get weak and tears prickling the sides of my eyes, I hear shouting, screaming, yelling, Every noise i wanted to forget so bad, i hear steven call out to my younger self, trying to save them. Its just a memory, it cant hurt me, its only a memory. I say to myself, I snap out of this trance and look for stevem, going through a door to meet my living room. The day of my brothers funeral. No. I cant help but think, I look to my left to see steven soaked, crying "Steven, lets get out of here, come on" Steven only looks at me before looking up the stairs as he hears younger me go down, his eyes shoot back to my mothers as she screams.

"IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIM SAFE, ITS ALL. YOUR. FAULT!!"

I can see stevens tears run down his face as he flinches from the yelling, He turns back to younger me, darting me a look "Steven, lets just go-" Before i finish my sentence Steven runs after younger me "steven get back here!!" i chase after him, again. "Steven please lets just get out of here-" I hear steven let out a small sob, going to that door, Before he could even open it i grabbed his whole body and pushed him away from the door "You weren't supposed to see that." I say, pushing him far far away "Get off me!!" he shouts, pushing me away "What the bloody hell was that?! why are you picturing mum like that?! she would never- she wouldnt-" He says, "Steven please just listen to me" "Shh! shut! just shut up marc!!" Steven says, obviously frustrated and confused "Steven, please just, dont go back there, you dont need to see that." I say gently, cupping his right cheek as he continues to sob, melting into my touch God, i just want to protect you, steven. I say to myself, as im distracted by Stevens warm eyes, he pulls away to continue watching my memories, "Steven!! you- fuck!" He sees teenage me leaving home, more tears prickling his eyes, At this point i just let it happen, seeing its not much, only teenage me.

Before we knew it we were back on the boat. The scales were better but not balanced. Because im still keepijg dumb secrets. but its to protect steven, my steven.

"You boys better hurry and find that lost memory!" the hippo shouts, Steven nods and runs back into the rooms, I sigh and close my eyes, opening them and now we're in the room i dont want steven to see.

The room he was created in.

Steven looks around confused "but this.. this is my room?" I clench my fist, knowing whats about to happen, Steven watches yonger me.

"Shes not my mom. shes not my mom. shes not my mom."

I feel my stomach turn as i clench my fist more. Steven seems.. confused. And before he can ask a question, It happens, Steven then forms

"Bloody hell, this place is a mess! better clean it up before she sees."

Steven looks at the poser on the wall "The great adventures of.. steven.. grant..?" He looks at me. "You.. made me up?" His eyes begin to water.

Fuck.

Our mom bursts the door in "This, will hurt me than it will hurt you." I grab stevens wrist and push him out "Marc i want to see what she does, stop pushing me out!" he trys to resist my pushing but it doesnt work. I close my eyes tightly as i hear our mother beating us and young, now steven, crys out from the pain of it. I start shaking, my legs getting weak, i cant bare that sound anymore. Steven pushes me off, slapping me across the face. "How could you not tell me!?" He shouts, obviously angry with me "Because you were supposed to know, thats the whole point of you!!" i shout back, immediately regretting my words. Stevens eyes twinkle with tears yet again.

"Steven.. look im sorry, okay?" I step closer. "We need to go back." I stop in my tracks looking at him, i immediately begin to panic "no, no we dont, we found the secrets now lets just get out of here and-" i was cut off my steven "Marc. we're going back." At this point i lose it completely, slapping and smacking myself harder than ever, shouting and screaming "no no you cant make me! you cant make me go back!! i wont do it i wont do it i wont do it!! fuck off fuck off!!" i start screaming and dropping to my knees as a trauma response. Steven looks at me, scared from the yelling and worried, he sits next to me and pulls me into the tightest hug ever, rubbing my back and whispering in my ears. "Its okay, Marc, im sorry. Shh. its okay, shh.." He rocks me back and forth, hugging and holding me close, making sure i knew i was safe. And i was, in stevens arms, i'll always be safe. and i know that.

Fuck, I love you, Steven.

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well thats end of part one :P!!! hope you guys enjoyed this part!!!!

hehehhe... wait till the next part...
:33