My brain hates me. It constantly works against me, I can't go anywhere or do anything without my thoughts spinning into a ball of distress. Hopefully grocery shopping will put me at ease. Time to get up off the floor Miah. One good thing about this apartment of ours is the shower, which also happens to be my favorite place to clear my mind. Walking in the bathroom avoiding the mirror per usual. I have never been a fan of my appearance, and the scar on my jawline reminds me of how close I once was to no longer breathing. I let my nightgown fall to the floor and stepped into the shower. Soap soon covered my uneven breasts and trailed down my stomach. I let the water run down my back for a while before deciding this was truly just a shower and not a therapy session. Drying myself off my favorite tank top was paired with high waisted jeans and white flats. This will do for today. I wrapped my thin hair into a ponytail and headed for the door.
Living in New York you realize having two cars or one at all is not super useful. Grace and I share hers, since the bus route drops me off not too far from work, and we usually do everything together anyways. However, today I'm feeling more of a straight forward experience to the store, Uber it is. Searching around the app, it said there was a car within 300 feet of me. A red Chevy Malibu to be exact. There was one across the street in the complex over, it left the driveway and pulled into ours. By the time the drivers photo loaded on the app he was already here. Mentally prepare yourself Miah. The window rolled down and sure enough William was staring back at me. "You have got to be kidding me." I surprisingly spoke first. He smiled and directed me to get in. His tone is firm but comforting at the same time, I did as I was told. "Don't you work in construction or something?" I said making myself comfortable. "Yeah you could say that." He smirked at me. His eyes asked me if I was ready before he pulled out of the driveway. "Alright, where are we going Miah?" He drove left handed, gently resting his right on the center counsel. Oh how my hand wanted to reach for his. God I'm so touch deprived. "Does it not tell you on the app where I am wanting to go?" He glanced at his phone, smiled, and proceeded to take me in the proper direction to Whole Foods. Grace is all about healthy and organic foods, she refuses to buy from any other store. Can't blame her though, as much as my taste buds disliked the adjustment my body appreciated dropping some weight. "You must be new to this gig?" I pried. He chuckled, and I soon realized he has the kind of laugh that causes everyone to join in. I made him laugh, I want to be the reason you laugh William. Jesus Miah. "Yeah, my apologies I am new to this whole thing." Unfortunately he was focused on the road, I hope our eyes catch each other at least once on this trip. "This whole thing as in driving strangers around to random places?" He laughed again, which made me smile. "Well this is just as random for you, I mean, I could be a psychopath." "Yes, you could." I responded scooting towards the passenger side door. "Miah, you know they make us take a bunch of background tests right?" He looked at me this time. "Do you enjoy stalking me or something?" "Stalking you? Goodness I only moved in two weeks ago and you have already given me such a brutal title." "I am kidding! I just find it a weird situation is all, how we keep running into each other." "Some call it that, others call it, destiny." He finished sarcastically. We are both laughing now. Our conversation continues to flow like water. I enjoy talking with William, I like watching how his lips curl after every word. "So, where did you move from?" My legs are pressed so hard up against the center counsel it hurts. "Oregon. I grew up in a really small town, you probably wouldn't know it." Coos Bay never stopped seeing me until it had to. He did not have to tell me where this small town was, I already knew. My anxiety told me to be sure before allowing it to consume me. "What was it called?" I questioned even though the answer was already known. "Coos Bay." My heart dropped so far it probably reached hell. I could feel my face losing its color and my vision actually started to get fuzzy. It was as if the car doors were closing in on me and if I were to wait any longer, I'd be crushed. "Miah? Are you alright?" He asked, but no words left my mouth. My body went into shock and all I could see was William fighting traffic to get over. "Miah, what's wrong?" He placed his right hand on my thigh gently, this slightly snapped me back to reality. When I looked at him, I knew I was going to burst. "You can let me out here, thank you for pulling over." Unlocking the door I was held inside momentarily by William's hand wrapped around my arm. "Miah, you cannot just get out here, I only pulled over to make sure you were alright before continuing." Vomit was burning my esophagus as it attempted to travel upwards. "William, let me go." I unhooked his hand from me and closed the door. He didn't pull away until I was out of his view.
Once hidden behind a building my legs gave out, colliding me with the ground. My head was heavy and spinning profusely. My first thought was to flee home, crawl into bed and cry until my eyes became so puffy that they wouldn't open. Instead, I decided to attempt to catch Grace on her lunch hour. William dropped me a few blocks from her office, hopefully walking will allow me some peace of mind. The clouds drifted apart letting the sun seep through. The gradual warmth was soothing, and I pushed forward. Four blocks and a few homeless people later, Grace's skyscraper stood before me. The worst part about coming to her office on a whim is being underdressed. Not to mention it would behoove anyone walking in here to have an appointment as each employee is usually booked for the day. It took every ounce of me to not continue going in circles through the revolving door. Okay, maybe I went through more than once, or a few times, who's counting? Approaching the front desk the receptionist asked me the notorious question. "Do you have an appointment?" "No, just here to see Miss. Tannehill on her lunch hour please." "One moment." Twirling the loose hairs around my face kept me occupied while waiting. She called Grace's office and her facial expressions did not read good news. "I'm sorry Miss. Tannehill is not available today, she has to work through lunch. She will be off at four o'clock." My fingers curled tightly into a fist as my patience wore very thin. Compose yourself Miah, your issues are not the attendants fault. "Are you sure she won't have five minutes to spare? I really need to see her." The receptionist gave me the look you give little kids when they ask you why after you just told them no. "You'll have to ask her assistant on her floor for further information." She stated, pointing towards the stairs. "Thank you." I almost tripped up the stairs in such a rush, then burst through the door as soon as the third floor was reached. "I need to see Grace right now Luisa." I stated out of breath. "She's too busy right now, I already told Hailey that downstairs. Her schedule does not allow any breaks today due to her absences." Luisa said as she typed on her computer, avoiding eye contact. "Come on Luisa, you know I would not be here if it was not important. Please, just five minutes it's urgent." I pleaded giving her my best puppy eyes. She took a serious look at my demeanor and paged Grace's office, letting her know her favorite visitor was waiting outside.
Taking a seat on the black leather cushions my anxiety tried its best to consume me as the waiting grew longer and longer. I watched every drop of water fall into the overfill tray on the water dispenser until Grace's voice finally broke the dreadful waiting room music. "Hey, I really do not have time today Miah. I'm so sorry, can we please discuss whatever this is at home?" She said with files in her hands. Don't waste her time Miah, come right out with it. "William moved here from Coos Bay Oregon." Grace stared at me confused. "He what?" "He moved here from Coos Bay. What if he knows about me? He obviously doesn't know it's me now from all the changes but I just ca-." Dropping her files she kneeled on the tile in front of me placing both her hands on my legs. "Breathe. I guarantee he does not know who you are, and he will not find out. You look so different now and it's not even about your looks Miah, you are not who you were before okay? I know that I don't know the full story, but what I do know is you're an amazing person inside and out." She kept my legs from shaking but she could not stop the tears from flowing. Her kind words wouldn't stick as my mind was overwhelmed with thoughts of Kyce, Luke, the gang, and all the trouble I'd be in if he found out who I truly was. All he has to do is dig up news articles from a few years back and that would be the last of me. "Miah, Miah, Miah!" I finally began to hear Grace after she shook me for the fourth time. "What?" "It's going to be okay, we'll get through whatever this is, I promise." Her optimism is sweet, but she has no idea what she's getting into with me. "Thank you Grace, I really appreciate you calming me down." I said, standing up and wiping my tears. "I mean, you could have still texted me but." She said jokingly. "Oh hush!" "Go home and calm down! We'll talk later." She reassured me, waved, and headed back into her office. She was not gone for long before Luisa spoke up. "You're welcome." "This is why you are the best Luisa!" I smiled on the way out.
YOU ARE READING
A New Mistake
RomanceDive into a dark and twisted tale of a young woman trying to make it out of the hole she was thrown in when she was little.