I Wish We Met Sooner (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 2

Oliver

THIS HAS TO BE one of the most complex decisions I have ever made. And I'm frazzled just thinking about it for the last few hours.

Will I make the right choice? Or will it be the kind where I pick something only to regret later on? It's really frustrating that life gives us fewer options as we age. As a kid, I could ask for anything back in the old days, and my parents would get it. They'll get it for me no matter what it is: candy, colored pencils, stickers, or soft toys.

But now, as a twenty-year-old college kid, I can't even decide if I want to eat ramen or pizza at the cafeteria. They're both simply delectable, but to have both in one go is too much. Not to mention a ticket to gaining weight. Again.

I guess mom and dad spoiled me as a kid, and I grew up obese. I thought little about it until I joined high school, and kids started body-shaming me. One kid called me "Oversized Ollie," believing it was funny to match the insult with my initials. Little did he know, he was the only one laughing in the room.

I swear, being a teenager is hard. You have to care about so many things, even when it has nothing to do with you. There are my insecurities when people say I overeat, or how I can't play dodge ball because I look like the actual ball or their comments about me wearing spectacles. Don't these people know I didn't ask to go blind?

It takes a lot to make it out of this phase alive. Unfortunately, there are so many who failed. May their soul rest in peace.

Thankfully, I survived my teenage days, and now I'm a young adult. Though, I can't say I'm doing a good job being one. On the bright side, my teenage depression helped me slim down to an average weight for a twenty-year-old. I can fit into my skinny jeans and play sports. Not that I like sports, but whatever. However, I do like running. Every once in a while, especially on a rainy day, I'd take a long jog around the neighborhood to simply clear my head. I enjoy inhaling the fresh earthy smell when it rains.

My eyesight had worsened, though. I had to get an extra pair with better power. But of course, there's always a bright side to everything. And in this case, it's the large round lens. Made of glass with stainless steel rims surrounding it. In other words, it looks cool. It also goes well with my dark hair. At least, that's what my friends told me.

"Fine, fine," I pointed at the beef pepperoni pizza behind the lunch lady. "I'll take three slices of those, please."

"It's about time, you doofus," Adriana tapping her thick boot heel, which might break a bone if she were to step on one. I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

"It's just food," Victor butts in, holding a lunch bag with waffles. I'm pretty sure he requested chocolate toppings as I could smell it even from where I'm standing. "Why does it take you forever?"

"Because it's food," I said. "Food is life. Most people eat to live. Not me. I live to eat."

I didn't mean that literally. I often pretend to be someone that's not me to fit in or at least avoid looking dumb. The good thing is, I don't have to pretend entirely when I'm with these two. Since orientation day, we've known each other and pretty much done so many things together. Despite all that, I still can't be myself in front of them. The only place I could is my room, the doors locked and curtains shut.

"I'm surprised you're not fat," Adriana eyes my stomach. Compared to Victor, she's blunter with her words. Her superpower is judging everyone with those hazel eyes, often surrounded by black eyeshadow and burgundy lips to match. Sometimes I feel she's trying so hard to be scary. She suffered from self-imagery, which led her to become an obsessed makeup user. I've seen her once without makeup when she invited me over to do our assignment, and she looked ten times better. If only she could see that.

But then again, I never believed people when they said I've lost weight. No matter how many times I see my reflection in the mirror, rather than seeing my ribcage, and ab line, I only see the fats of the kid I once was. It's just challenging to see yourself differently when you've always been hating yourself.

Slowly but surely, I'll get there. Maybe someday, someone will look at me and say, "Oliver, you're beautiful the way you are," and actually mean it. I doubt it'll be anytime soon. Perhaps, when I reach my thirties. Or maybe not because I'll start growing wrinkles by then.

"Trust me, I used to be," the lunch lady hands me the wrapped slices of pizza, and we made our way to an empty table.

The table had leftovers distributed everywhere, which Victor helped to clean with the handy tissue packet he carries around. We then sat down and kept our bags on an empty seat between Adriana and me before digging in our food.

Thanks to me, we had less than an hour for lunch before our next class with Mr. Willis. He is probably the only lecturer neither of us is in favor of because of his stuck-up attitude and boring lectures. He educates us regarding Human Communication, such as ways of being presentable or tones to use when talking to others. Apparently, he failed to realize that he could use some.

"You guys up for karaoke tomorrow?" Adriana asks after downing a spoonful of noodles. "I could use some tension release activities."

That's what she said.

"Would love to," Victor grimaces. "But your choices in music scare us."

"Why?"

"Let's just say, not everyone loves metal," I avoided her eyes. "Some of us like Ruth B, Chris James, or Avril Lavigne, and not Corey Taylor, Marilyn Manson, or Bruce Dickinson."

"You guys are such pussies," she continues eating.

"Says the girl who enjoys listening to a dude name Dickinson," Victor sniggers. And so did I.

"Anyway," I changed the subject. "I can't. We're bringing Emily to Gold's Pawn tomorrow for her birthday."

"Your parents are getting gold for her birthday?" Victor had a raised eyebrow.

"Rich bitch," Adriana breathed.

"I heard that," I eyed her. "And yes. What do you expect? The family favorite gets everything."

"Oh, come on, don't tell me they've never gotten you any gold before?" Victor asked.

I shook my head.

"Yeesh," Adriana breathed again.

"Exactly," I agreed.

Eight years ago, since Emily was born, I lost my self-proclaimed title of being the Family Favorite. I saw this coming the day they told me I would have a little sister, and somehow, I still had hoped to keep mom and dad all to myself. What was I thinking?

We would have a family movie night or dinner at Auntie Anne and, my favorite, road trips to random places. But that all changed when Emily came. Now they don't even ask about my day or acknowledge my presence. Heck, if I were to be gone for a day, I bet they won't even notice.

Maybe I should try that someday,

Oh well. It's been eight years now. I'm pretty much used to being invisible at home. College is my escape from home. God knows what I will do when it's over, since graduation is around the corner.

"What do you think they'll get her?" Adriana asked.

"Probably a necklace," I guessed, because Emily always asked to borrow mom's ruby necklace.

"How much do you think that's going to cost?"

"An arm maybe," I sarcastically shrugged my shoulders before getting to my feet. "Well, you guys can debate on it while I get some coffee."

I'm going to need a lot more than a double shot for our next class.