8 months and 12 hours since I last saw Jimin. When was his trip getting over? He had promised to celebrate my new life together. When would the time come?
Everyday I sat at the balcony with hopeful eyes, wanting to see him, hug him, kiss him and feel him. Nothing felt happy without him. No calls, no texts. The contact was abandoned. My mother in law was living with me. She was the one who took care of me after my surgery when it should be Jimin. Why?
My eyes now were void of tears. I didn't know how to cry. It had been such a long wait. At this point I felt tired of waiting. His clothes, his perfumes, his watches, his shoes, his side of bed. Everything was making me miss him to an extent that had no cure.
"Chaerin eat your breakfast", my mother in law settled in front of me as the maids plated our breakfast.
Stew kimchi jjigae, Bibimbap, Yakimeshi, Pork.
The table was filled with 'his' favorite food.
How much I wanted to feed him by myself. My desires hoped to meet their destination. "What happened?", I flinched when she placed her soft wrinkled hands over mine bringing me back from my trace of thoughts. "N-Nothing".
I had nothing to tell her. What should I? In these 8 months how I felt after this behavior of her son?
"Mom", I called her, eyes fixated on the food as she hummed. "When will Jimin come?", again the same question with the same answer, "Soon Chaerin", I scoffed at the audacity. The lies.
Harshly pushing away the plate I stood up from my chair catching her attention. The chair fell due to the force and my breathing was heavy. Sweat on my forehead, fingers trembling, lips quivering, blood turning cold. I wanted to cry right now. I wanted to cry in his embrace right now. I stomped my feet in anger and left the dining hall, running upstairs, locking myself in 'our' room.
"GO AWAY!", I squawked, throwing away the flower vase kept on the table in the room.
"LIARS HAVE NO PLACE IN MY LIFE!"
My mother in law must have trembled over the other end. My voice was scary but the truth was my soul was scared more. Scared to live alone. Scared to start alone. Scared to face everything alone.
"P-please Chaerin", she stuttered making me cry more.
"Please", she begged and I gave up.
Dragging my feet towards the wooden door I creaked open it only to see her sitting on her knees, crying hiding her face between them. I bend down to her level and pulled her in my embrace and she without any hesitation hugged me back.
~
"Sorry", my mother in law initiated a conversation while I was busy staring at the empty streets. It had been raining since morning. The weather was cold but who cares? I don't and I will never. Pouring some tea in a cup she passed it to me with hopeful eyes and I took it without saying anything. "Chaer-", I cut her off as I turned to face her with my emotionless eyes, tears filled in them, "Speak only if you want to tell the truth."
I wasn't a fool. My emotions were real. My sufferings were real. It was painful. My words sounded cruel but it was necessary. I might look selfish but I had no regrets.
Because...
Wasn't it my right to know the whole story about my husband's death which everyone had been hiding from me until now?
YOU ARE READING
Infatuated || PJM ✓
Fanfiction"Even if he is a mirage, I am ready to fall harder for him." "Make your heart my home", he pulls me closer so tightly as if there is no tomorrow. "Am I ugly now, Jimin?", I whimper to which he shakes his head, "No, you are still the prettiest woman...
