POEM; My Childhood Dreams

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by phinawilly028

by phinawilly028

I used to think when I grow up, things were going to get better;
That the constant urge to take (hidden) cornflakes or milk would vanish,
I mean why would I when I will be keeper of them all just like my mom?

*Scoffs*

My Childhood (naive) Dreams always saw me as successful just like my mom;
My hero!
Having the keys to those "hidden treasures"
But it cut out the scenes of teenagehood and adulthood.
It cut out the part that I would need to grow up and enter secondary school, struggle to have friends and be loved.

That I would want to be the girl seniors flaunt, and not struggle to ensure my peers liked me?
It cut out various scenes of countless tears and inferiority.
Scenes of me struggling to make a pass in class and constantly being compared to the better "other".

It cut out parts where my body was going to undergo changes, ones I was quick to embrace surprisingly
But will later find out, I don't love why because?
My eyes were just too large,
Lips just too dark,
Shoulders broad,
Fingers short,
Face battered with pimples,
My bosom growing exclusively leaving the behind.
What an awesome body would I say!

No!

Those dreams did not envision the part where I would walk through everyday,
Standing in front of my mirror,
Hoping and trying and trying and trying so hard,
To see what was beautiful in my body.
That I would one day crave affection and want the "other"
But still not want to offend principles and more importantly Him??

That I would go through times when I would want to cry but have to stay strong because what?
I'm a big girl...

Right?

That times when I don't feel like reading or can't even study,
I have to force myself or face it else I would look unserious and ungrateful
And if I became too studious I might skip on the chance of being "fun" and "experienced"
And not the infamous "naive"?

That my emotions will one day be toyed with
And things I had feared or felt so insecure of will haunt me down?

That I will one day question myself if I truly want to be in my mother's position?

No!

And NO a thousand times!

My Childhood Dreams cheated that young naive girl into believing she was one day going to have a Happily Ever After???

*Scoffs*

Of course not!

That one day, she would be loved not for what she stood for or believed in
But because she was there when a shoulder was needed?
That later she will begin to realize that the world is more than just a cruise?

Where did purpose go?
She asks
Where did destiny go?

That soon, "Happily Ever Afters" become mere myths and that now,
She doesn't want a Prince Charming but a kingdom to cater for?
That eventually, the world will hate her for what she has become?

At las, the only solace becomes His words
That the world will hate me because it hated him...

All these because of My Childhood Dreams!

A/N:
The first of it's kind... This is a new trial... Please support me guys...
Short stories will be next, the peoms will be chipped in from time to time
Salamat lovelies 🥰🥰