HeartBound {Avengers Fanfic}

Chapter 17: Whispers in the Dark

"Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it."

–Swedish Proverb

Loki didn't look up when Freyja called him, he couldn't find the strength to do so. He had wanted to speak to her, going so far as to risk using mental projection but had found her chambers empty. When he had finally found her, he saw her dancing with the super-soldier. He had watched as she laughed with him and her eyes lit up the way they did when she was in good company. And despite having to walk away, he had followed them through the city.

He supposed he shouldn't feel envious, as he knew that Freyja would in no way betray him, but he couldn't help it. He wanted nothing more than to take her back to Asgard and make her eyes light up with happiness as they did when she was with the soldier. Then he wondered if maybe he should encourage her to pursue the soldier. He was a monster, after all, and she deserved better. And yet the anger he felt towards the Midgardian did not allow him to linger over such thoughts.

It was only when the man had taken her by the arm, in the way Loki had done so many times before, that his anger subsided to leave only sorrow. What if she truly did fancy the soldier who shared so many of her ideals? He couldn't bear the thought. Wondering what she saw in himself, Loki had pulled away the Æsir illusion that he always wore, that had become almost a part of him now. He hadn't expected her to walk in as he was still in Jötunn form.

"Loki," she called again, reaching for him.

He slid his chair further into the corner, deeper into the shadows, to avoid her touch, "Will you tell me the entire truth? Sparing my emotions?"

"What are you speaking of?"

"I saw you...and the soldier...and I want to know why," he said softly.

"Why what?" she asked, her voice softer than he had expected. "There is nothing to explain."

"I know you saw me watching you. What were you doing in such a place?"

"Tony decided to throw a going-away party as this is my last night on Midgard. He invited the rest of the Avengers and any friends who were willing to come. We had a good time."

"I could tell," he answered bitterly.

"Loki, it was no different than when you, Thor, Sif, the Warriors Three, and I went to the tavern on the outskirts of Asgard. It was nothing serious."

"The soldier seemed to think otherwise."

"Steve was simply being a gentleman. Can I not enjoy the night with a friend?"

"You were dancing with him, Freyja, laughing with him."

She threw her hands in the air exasperatedly, "Are you aware of just how many times I have danced or laughed with someone other than you? Are you telling me that you are jealous of every person who gives me the slightest amount of momentary happiness?"

He shook his head, giving a wan smile, "I am envious of the very sunlight that shines down on you. You truly have no idea what effect you have upon me, let alone upon others."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"You draw people in, bring out the most in them. People crave your very presence in the room. Are you aware of how much each one deserves you more than I do?"

"Loki, this isn't about who is the more deserving in my life. It is about who I choose."

He chuckled darkly, "Yes, the discarded Prince of Jötunheim is who holds your favor. I am not naïve, Freyja. I know you too well to believe the half-truths you tell yourself. You look at me and you despise my actions, I can see it in your eyes."