Wild Dreams

3- Frustrated

After we ate dinner together, we started packing our things. Tomorrow morning we're going back to Manila because I still need to enrol before it ends. 

"Honey, what course will you take?" She asked this while folding her clothes neatly in the luggage. 

I sighed. I still don't have a dream; this is so frustrating. 

We came here to refresh our minds, but my thoughts keep coming back to pressure myself about my goddamn dream. 

"I'll take whatever's available" 

They knew that I was too frustrated to have a dream. I still remember their faces when they found out that I went to the mall to ask every single person about their dream. 

At first they think that it's just some sort of a game because I was nine that time. 

"Hi, what's your dream?" I asked a lady with a dog in her arms. I'm literally smiling from ear to ear, hoping that her dreams will be mine too. 

"To be a veterinarian" she replied with a big smile and a dreamy eye. It looks like she's imagining herself being one. 

"Thank you", then I left immediately. I was jealous, too jealous. Why can't I imagine myself to be one. It's one of those common dreams that I don't even have. 

How envious. 

I went to the other section of the mall to ask someone again, I found a girl who I think was the same age as me, a nine-year-old girl looking at the toys inside the claw machine. I run towards her while smiling. 

"Hi, what's your dream?" That's the first thing that I always ask someone. 

She was surprised by my sudden appearance, but she still answered my question. 

"I wanna be a doctor someday because I want to save my lola, she's suffering now because I'm not yet a doctor, but when I become one, I will immediately treat her." while saying those things, I saw her lips quivered. 

"Oh, I'm sure you're going to be a great doctor." I said while coming towards her, reaching into my arms to pat her back because I sensed that she's about to cry. 

Then her parents came and consoled her, saying such comforting words that will make you feel relieved. 

I cried my heart out outside the mall after the realization hit me. I really don't have a dream. Everyone has a dream in their mind, and I don't belong to that group. 

I never cried this long since I was a child, they always told me that I was such a behaved little baby before because whenever I cry, it's just a matter of seconds to minutes before I stop.

The guard immediately came towards my direction, and he pulled his walky-talky outside his pocket. He said something and he stopped walking when we're only a foot apart. 

"Hello baby, what's the problem, why are you crying?" he asked while giving me a handkerchief. 

Then I cried again, it feels like that words triggered my tears that it flows like a river. I don't feel like crying anymore but the words such as "are you okay" or "what's the problem?" always made me cry my heart out. 

He's handing me candies but I can't even get it because I was busy crying while wiping the fresh tears that I just shed. He said a lot of words just so I would stop crying but I really can't stop. I am trying okay, but when I try to resist my tears it will come out in the form of sobs.

"What's your name?" He asked while wiping my tears away. 

"Light Fuentes" I answered while still sobbing.

"What's your mom's name?" 

"Leila Fuentes"

"What's your dad's name?"

"Leon Fuentes"

I kept answering his questions and unconsciously, I stopped crying. Later on, I saw my mom running to me while crying, and my dad behind her. 

"I'm so worried about you" she keeps on crying while hugging me. She held my face and asked, "Are you alright?", "Are you hurt?", "Why are you crying?", and so on. 

When I'm just staring at her without saying anything despite her never ending questions, she sighed and said "let's go home, I know you're tired" then she grabbed my hands and we started walking towards the bodyguard. 

"Thank you so much for your help, we don't know how to thank you enough, but please call this number in case you need any help, don't hesitate to call" my dad said too many words just now. 

"Thank you sir, but I just did my job" Mr. Erick said, I just saw his name on his uniform, he's a big man who has a good body build. 

"Still, thank you so much, if you need any help just call me, I'll do anything in my power to show you my sincerity" my dad said while still giving the calling card to Mr. Erick.

"Alright sir" then he accepted the calling card, and we bid our goodbye. 

When we were in the car, we were too quiet. No one asked me and I'm thankful for that because I know the moment they asked me, I'll start crying again.