Citrus: Mei's Story vol. 1 - Guarded Heart

I. First Impressions

The story of how I found real lasting love started with the day I learned that my father had returned to Japan after five years, and had never even come to see me. Instead he had apparently met and married a woman who had a daughter around my age, and then left once more after arranging for me to live with these new people. I wasn't sure what to make of the situation. It didn't feel like something the Professor would do, and I doubted he would really just fall in love so quickly. My father was always a cautious and calculating man. Surely he didn't mean to just abandon our old house, or his responsibility to the academy, or... me. Still the thought dug into the dark depths of my mind and uncovered old fears.
Was he still the Professor? Did he still love me? Was everything I had done since he left pointless? Was I stuck with these strangers forever, because he wanted to get rid of me? Was I going to be alone forever?
But I wasn't alone... at least not physically. After all I always had Himeko around. Though she didn't really seem to get as close as the pit left over from when Saya left. Nor did she really reach to cover the hole left by the absence of the Professor, which seemed to be slowly eating away at my soul. I could rely on her to handle the things that needed a more emotional touch. That let me focus on maintaining the Professor's legacy.
I also had Grandfather to guide me in the Professor's absence when it came to the academy. Of course our relationship was one built on fulfilling the role of heir and living up to expectations. There was nothing of real familial warmth that I could feel radiate from the Professor in my memories. If I wasn't sure of my purpose I might have wished for things to change, but in most things— even the fact that my heart was not allowed to be my own— all I saw was the path towards me proving worthy of the Professor's appreciation. For that I was willing to endure everything that was required of me.
         As the heir to Grandfather's legacy, and the Professor's only daughter, I was even willing to accept that I was already engaged to a man I had never met until recently. Mr Amamiya was supposed to be as capable as the Professor, and to prove that he even had become a teacher at the academy. Grandfather said it was what was best for everyone, and I trusted that he was right. But... all the same, I didn't really like that man.
        I had never really understood the appeal of romantic relationships. My only memories of my parents together didn't really seem to match what the world around me was saying. The Professor didn't need romance so why would I? And after he left, I learned the truth about what it meant for a man to show their desire— their romantic love— to me. I didn't have anything to compare it to, but I knew it was not what I wanted. I didn't want them pressing themselves against me as they held my wrists so I couldn't push them off. I didn't want them grabbing my face so I couldn't avoid them forcing their tongue in my throat. And I really didn't want the way they touched me under my clothes.
        I learned everything about that type of love before I ever left middle school, and I had hoped that Mr Amamiya would be different. Like the Professor. However he turned out to be the worst of them all, and with him I finally understood that this was what a relationship with a man was always going to be. After all, according to Grandfather, marriage and all the things that were included were only possible between a man and a woman. So I resigned myself to enduring the torment that awaited me and fixed my eyes on doing whatever it took to keeping the academy primed for the Professor's return.
         And then I got the news that he had come back, gotten married, and I was asked to move out of the house that I knew so I could live with this new mother and sister. Grandfather didn't even know anything about it, but was willing to go along with it as long as it didn't cast a mark on the family or the academy. He didn't even bother finding out their names. So it was up to me to be the representative of our family for them as well, and because it was the Professor I intended to accept them as my family with all my heart.

      "Whaaaat?! What's the point of being a high school girl if you can't look cute?!"
      Those were the very first words that I heard Yuzu say. I had been preparing to meet my new family since I had heard about the marriage. I had packed everything last night and the boxes would be taken over around lunchtime, but I decided to wait until after school to actually go over to the new apartment. I had to admit I was curious about who they were and had already taken the time to learn their names and seen a photo of them. I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what they looked like so I didn't do anything that would upset the Professor or shame Grandfather, and I wanted to get the chance to observe the girl who was going to be my sister.
        "Why suck all the fun out of life?!"
        When I turned to look at who was saying such hilariously ignorant things I was a little taken aback. There she was, shouting at Himeko and Maruta in the middle of the entrance of the academy in an outfit that screamed "look at me, aren't I cute" and making a scene. I knew from the picture I had been shown that she had dyed her hair blonde, but I thought she would obviously dye it back before coming. And her clothes were cute, but it mocked the crisp refined look that was the academy's standard. While I didn't think she looked at all bad— in fact she was definitely beautiful if not a little too showy— I couldn't allow her to get away with such blatant disregard for the rules or draw attention to the fact she was supposed to be my sister, even if the events felt strange and fictitious. I was the student council president and the heir to the Aihara Academy for Girls. I could not allow her any leeway no matter how much I wanted to be on good terms with her. I took a deep breath and started towards her as she continued her yelling. I even noticed her trying to hide her phone in her pocket as if she thought it would be forgotten. It was adorably laughable that she was this cocky... or maybe it was just adorable.
     "A girl's outfit has nothing to do with how well she does in school!!"
And there's my cue to stop this before it gets worse.
"Yes it does."
That took the focus off what she was saying as the entire student body that was within earshot looked from her to me and then Himeko decided to help by reminding everyone who I was being in that moment. At least the girl didn't use my name.
"Miss Student Council President!"
Now to remind them all why the rules exist and make at least an attempt at being impartial. It would be a lot easier if she didn't look at me like that.
"Learning to obey the rules makes us productive members of society."
         Stop looking at me like that.
         "At this academy we are all held to the same rules. The same standards."
     Stop looking like that.
        "And that includes you."
Stop looking at me like you're seeing some beautiful goddess!
She looked as though the power of speech had been ripped out of her, but then thankfully she blinked and her eyes took on the same fire she must have been showing to Maruta a moment ago.
       Good, now Mitsuko won't hear that I was lax in my duties from her. I just have to make a show of discipline and we can move forward without any further issues.
"Well that's a little messed up."
Yuzu, I'm sorry to do this your first day. Don't make it harder on yourself, please.
"You just said everyone was held to the same standards..."
Why are you getting closer?
"But I just transferred here. I had no idea about any of this!"
Is she serious? That information is the first thing in the student handbook. I mailed it to her myself and can see it in her bag! Did she really come to school without reading that?!
"It's not exactly fair, is it?"
This whole thing could have been avoided if you just skimmed the first page of your student handbook, you complete idiot!
"Right, Miss Student Council President?"
I just stared at her smug face and knew she thought she had won some victory. If not for her complete foolishness and turning my title into a slur, I would have probably found it cute and charming. But it annoyed me. I could see the others starting to whisper and knew they were likely commenting on the fact that she was dressed like a gyaru and clearly didn't know the first thing about how this academy worked. If this was the middle school branch or even the beginning of the school year, they might have been more willing to gently help her. But now she had made a scene and this would be how she was going to be viewed for a while. Also she had snapped at the student council and was confrontational with me. I could no longer just pull her aside or have her come to the council room like I would have done with other students. I had to either discipline her some way right now, or pull a Mitsuko and have her choose between two bad options.
Sorry Yuzu, I'll be quick. Don't hate me.
I leaned in as if to give a hug and in a matter of quick seconds dug her phone out of her pocket. It was a little awkward because I had to slide my hand under the jumper she had tied around her waist and my hand brushed against her hip as I did. Her expression didn't help. She clearly had not been with a boy at all. It was obvious from how she gasped and turned bright red even though I was careful not to do anything like how men had touched me. I quickly moved away with her phone and she collapsed to the ground as though I had done something more than just swipe her phone. I turned quickly and showed her the phone as I walked away.
"Starting tomorrow, you'll follow the rules."
I hope you can understand why I'm doing this. I don't want to fail the Professor, and I want to know what it means that he made us sisters.