Secret

Chapter 1

I sat up in my bedroom with my hands over my ears and my head on my knees once again just like every other time dad was upset. My older brother Kain. rushed into my room and told me to hide in my closet. "Come on Jillyann you have to hide!" He said his voice shaky, I got up and ran into my closet. He covered me with clothes from my dresser drawers so I wasn't visible. He shut the closet door after handing me his phone in case I needed it, even though none of us would ever call the police on dad.

I heard my bedroom door slam open. "Where is she?!" I heard my fathers voice boom
"I don't know." Kian lied
"Don't lie to me!" Our father said pushing my brother to the floor with a bang. I silently cried to myself. "Where's that little whore?!" My father screamed again
"I'm not telling you! You'll just hit her again!" My brother could tell he made a mistake for yelling back at father
"Oh so now you want to be mr. Big guy huh? Okay. Fine."
"What?" My brother spoke confused
"How about you go to work for hours! Let's see you get food for us all! And pay these bills!"
"At least I wouldn't waste all of my money on beer and drugs!" Kian screamed
"That's it boy! When I was your age and I spoke back to my father this is what happened!" My father said. Then I heard his belt undo and then the smack of it on my brothers skin.
"No!" I cried out silently at the sound of my brothers pain
"Oh so she's in there isn't she?" My father spoke with a sly smile "let's give her a few whacks too then?" My father opened the door and grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the floor. I tried to crawl over to him but my father grabbed my waist and pulled me away from him.
"I don't think hits will do the trick on her. She needs some hung else." That was all he said before dragging me out of the room.
"No!" My brother screamed running out of the room after us. But my father was quicker and he threw me to the floor of his bedroom and locked the door so Kian couldn't help me.
"No please!" I cried out he didn't stop what he was doing and pulled my clothes off of my body. I screamed out covering my body with my hands. My father stripped of his clothes and held my hands above my head.
"This is what I used to do with your mother. but that bitch just had to get cancer!" He yelled as he pinned me down to the bed. I screamed in pain as he forced himself into me.
"Stop please!" I pleaded, he didn't he just got meaner with it, he didn't stop until he was satisfied. He got up and got dressed, he then left for work again. As soon as the front door clicked, my brother ran as fast as he could to my side. He lifted me up and held me like a baby. I sobbed quietly in his arms. He slipped a T-shirt on me along with a pair of his basketball shorts.
"I-I'm so sorry." he cried with me
"It-It wasn't your fault. He was going to hurt you bad." I cried
"I'd rather him hurt me than you."
"I-I miss mom."
"Me too. Me too Jillyann." I could feel his tears falling onto my head and legs. I sat there a 14 year old girl in my 17 year old brothers lap after being raped by our father.

FOUR YEARS LATER
"Kian!" I screamed out
"Kian isn't here!" My father yelled back
"Please! No!" I cried out
"Oh but now that you're older and there's nobody here to stop me. It'll be so much more fun!"
"Help! Help me someone!" I screamed at the top of my lungs
"Shut up the only one who will hear you is me!"
"Help me!" I screamed louder but nobody came. Just like every other time. After he was done, he went to work. And I ran to my room, locked the door and cried. I had gotten an idea. I'll run away. I grabbed my suit case and filled it up along with three backpacks. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my brothers number. He didn't answer. So I decided to run. I opened my window and climbed out. I ran fast down the road. I didn't stop until I made it to my brothers house. I knocked on the door over and over again. Until Kian opened the door. He starred down at my tear stained face.
"Kian." I cried he pulled me into his arms, kissing my head he grabbed my things and pulled me inside.
"What happened?" He asked "never mind. I know."
"I-I finally did it Kian." I said
"Did what? Why do you have all this stuff with you?"
"I ran away Kian I finally did it." I said again, a tear slipping down my face. He pulled me into another hug, but it was interrupted by someone coming down the stairs and saying "Who's this Kian?" It was a girl
"I-I'm Kian's sister." I said wiping away tears
"Oh, I'm Mel, oh sweetie why are you crying?" Kian just looked at her and she sympathetically smile at me and rubbed my arm, she got up and walked over to Kian, kissing him before she walked back upstairs.
"That's my girlfriend." he smiled at me, then a familiar voice that I couldn't quite place called
"Kian! Who's here?"
"Come down and see!" Kian called back
"JC!" I called out, running up to my brothers best friend
"Jillyann!" He called back, lifting me off the ground in a hug, spinning me in circles "what brings you here?"
"She's staying for the night."
"Can she do that?"
"I'm 18 now." I smiled
"Oh yeah!" JC laughed "I missed you ya know. You never come around."
"I would if I could." I muttered looking down at my feet.
"What do you mean?" He said, I didn't answer "what do you mean?" He said again, putting his hand on my shoulder, causing me to flinch "why did you flinch away when I touched your shoulder?" he said retracting his hand
"N-Nothing JC it's not you. Just I didn't know you were gonna touch me," I lied

Later that night we all sat in the living room. Kian went to the kitchen for something,
"JC!" Kian called from the kitchen, causing JC to walk into the kitchen. I just stood there with my arms across my chest. Both of the boys came back in and they showed me to my room,
"J-JC?" I said as he walked out with Kian
"Yeah?"
"W-Will you stay with me tonight?" I said shyly "you don't have to. Just asking..."
"Of course I will."
"T-thanks I just don't want to be alone right now."
We laid on the air mattress together, I felt JC's arms wrap around my frail body. I tensed up.
"Why do you do that?" He asked
"Do what?"
"Flinch or tense when I touch you."
"I-I can't tell you." I said, I started to cry
"Why are you crying?" He asked me sympathetically, I shook my head "you can tell me anything." he said looking into my teary eyes
"I-If I do he will find out and do it worse!" I cried
"Who?"
"I-I can't tell you!"
"Yes you can, I will always be here for you to talk to me." his brown eyes searched my green eyes as if they held the answers to his questions. I nodded
"M-My father-" I started crying "he-he hits me."
"What."
"And he used to hit Kian too, but then when Kian turned 18 he moved out. Every day- everyday when our father for home from his first job, he would come into my room, but Kian always hid me before he did, but one time he found me. And that day he raped me..."
"He raped you?!"
"Y-Yes. He did everyday."
"For how long?"
"Since I was 14."
"Four years?!"
"Y-yeah. He still does it to me. Kian left me. He left me to take all of those hits! He left me to be raped every single day of my life for four years. He. He could've saved me. He could've stopped dad. I-I never could. I'm too scared. And I don't want to go back. JC that place is awful. But it's the only home I have." By then I was bawling my eyes out and I had tears all down my face, JC lifted my head in his hands and wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs, looking into my eyes, he said "you don't have to go back."
"Y-Yes I do. If he notices I'm gone. It'll be even worse for me! I have to go!" I said sitting up out of the bed, I put on my shoes and grabbed my bags "if I hurry I'll get home before him!"
"No, you aren't going back there." JC said grabbing my arm
"I have to."
"No. Just stay here for the night."
"But then he won't go to work tomorrow and I will be punished." I started to cry harder, he pulled me into his arms, I dropped my bags and cried into his chest.
"Shh..."
"He's going to hurt me bad."
"I won't let that happen."
"But you'll end up leaving me. Just like Kian did." I cried
"I will never leave you. Kian didn't leave you, he's right here for you."
"But I call all the time and he doesn't answer. I've called him for help. Everyday. He never answers me."
"He will be here for you now and if he's not I am. I promise you I will be."
"Can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course."
"I used to cut. It's my dad's fault. Please don't judge me." I cried
"What? Does Kian know?"
"No. And you can tell him. It's a secret. Can you keep that between us?"
"Yes."
"It's our secret. So is that my dad still hurts me.Okay?"
"Okay."
"And that I used cut."
"Okay."
"Thank you JC."