Bonfire Nights

4

JAKE:

"You know, you used to be able to hang, you used to be a person I could talk to, I don't even recognize you anymore. Dad getting sick is hurting all of us, not just you," I yell.

I'm an asshole, I know I am. "You know what, I'll walk home." Talia spits, as she swings the door open. "Talia, get back in the car, stop acting childish." I tell her.

I'm the one acting childish, I shouldn't have said that shit. No matter how fucked up in the head I am.

"Childish? I'm acting childish? Huh? What do you call getting drunk every damn night, while your mom is at home drowning in the stress that is her life! What do you call getting high all the time and missing visits with Dad? Hell, you even missed Mama's birthday because you were drunk, high, and let's not forget hung the fuck over! You call that mature?"

I deserve it, I deserve it, I deserve it.

"We didn't just lose Dad, Jacob. We lost you too."

Her face is a fiery red, her eyes burn holes into mine. I scramble to find the words, any words. I can't, I can't because I know that she's fucking right.

I slam my fist again the steering wheel "FUCK" because that's exactly how I was feeling. Fuck life, fuck my dads cancer, fuck my constant need to get high, fuck football, fuck everything.

She slams the door so hard, that it shakes the car. Her nose scrunches up in the way it does before she starts to cry.

I should pull over and rush to her aid. Tell her I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it. That's what a good brother would do. But I don't, instead I throw the car into drive and speed off.

I can't even see straight, it feels like someone just slapped me in the face. "FUCK!" I slam the steering wheel again.

Reaching into my pocket, I yank out my phone. My fingers fumble over the screen.

RING- RING

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voicemail

"Pick the fuck up!" I yell.

RING- RING

Ayo, what's word?-P

You at the crib?- J

Yea, what's up?-P

I'm gonna stop by, you got the piece?-J

Of course, the hell I do!-P

Bet...-J

I can fix this, I can fix this. I just gotta fix me first, but I can fix this. Just this one fucking time, and I won't do this shit ever again.

GRAYSON:

Even when practice is over, I stay on the field. The sun is starting to set, but the heat of it beats against my skin.