Christopher dumps several jugs of milk down the drain

Part 1: Too much milk.

Okay one day Christopher Pierre was walking down the street. He had much much money cause he stole some people's stuff very legally and very peacefully. He thought "oh, I should buy something." So he went to the local Walmart.

When he arrived, he saw some really short kid in a hoodie and bandages screaming their head off with a rifle while their sibling was just kinda vibin.

Christopher didn't care. Christopher had a mission. He remembered he needed milk. So he went to the dairy section. When he got there he realized: he didn't know how expiration dates work. He also didn't know what kind of milk was best. To solve this, he went and bought literally as much milk as he could fit in his cart.

He walked to the checkout isle, which was empty as a result of that one gremlin kid screaming at everyone and scaring them out of the store. Christopher, being the dumb guy who cares about how people see him, considered paying for the milk. However, nobody was watching and he didn't actually give a crap about what's legal as long as he isn't caught. So he left with all the milk. He also stole the cart because why not.

When he got home to his big ole emo mansion, he tried to fit the cart through the door. However, it was far too narrow, and he got angry. He ran inside to get his bat and broke the wall around the door as if it was a mirror so he could push it inside.

He then proceeded to analyze what milk he had grabbed, given the fact that he was in such a panic at the store about not knowing how to buy milk that he just took it all. He went and retrieved a milk book from his library cause he has one of those obviously cause he's all goth and emo.

After about two hours, he had identified the best carton of milk.

"What about the rest of it?" He thought. "Oh, well, I can't possibly consume all of this milk by the time it expires"

And so, Christopher Pierre spent 40 minutes pouring every other jug of milk out into his kitchen sink.
A few hours later, a police officer arrived at his door to investigate a breaking and entering that had occurred earlier with one of the victims severely wounded by a baseball bat. Obviously, Christopher was the culprit, but he couldn't let the officer know that.

"It wasn't me, officer! I swear!" He pleaded.

"Oh yeah? Prove it bro" said the officer.

Christopher had the perfect excuse. "I was busy pouring out all my good milk. I have proof! I've got approximately 20 empty jugs!"

The officer looked at him like he was a madman. "I'm sorry sir, why the heck would you do that. Also, where did you get the money? Also also, I was informed of several jugs of milk being stolen from the local Walmart after the ice cream raid."

Christopher had been caught. He could only think of one thing. His bat was outside and he couldn't go grab it, so he requested to retrieve something from upstairs. He returned with his only unbroken full-length mirror left, and dropped it right on the officer's face. He then proceeded to bury the body under all the empty milk jugs because he's like that.

The end.