Chicago (a Friday Night Lights fanfiction)

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Matt always liked Thursdays. He had his best class Thursday afternoons, the one that made him feel like he knew what he was doing—or at least like he was getting there—and he was off work for the night. He liked to pick up takeout on his way home from class and hole up for the night letting the muse do what it wanted. He usually ended up throwing out what he worked on ... but the ideas were often things he filed away to work on again later. It was peaceful, a happy routine.

He hadn't gotten very far into this Thursday's routine when someone knocked on his door. He nearly choked on a bite of lo mein, spitting the noodles back into the carton. No one knocked on his door. Well, sometimes a friend would come by if they had agreed to go get dinner, but rarely, and never unannounced.

As he got up to answer it, he assumed it was the wrong number, or a neighbor asking to borrow something.

Matt was utterly flummoxed when he opened the door and saw Julie Taylor standing there smiling at him.

Both of them were silent for what felt like forever, just looking at each other, each waiting for the other to say something.

Finally, Matt decided that as, apparently, the host, and the older person and presumably the more mature, it was his responsibility to speak. "Um ... hey." If only he could have come up with something more intelligent to say.

"Hey," Julie repeated, unhelpfully. She looked at him brightly, expecting him to take the next step.

Only Matt wasn't completely sure he wanted her in his apartment. Not this way, suddenly on his doorstep, no idea why she was here or what she wanted. This was his space—the only person he had ever invited in was Landry, and even that had been a little weird.

"Have, uh, have you eaten?" he asked instead. When Julie shook her head, he grabbed his keys and jacket from the hook just inside the door, closing it behind him. The lo mein would keep. Or it wouldn't. Right now, he wasn't sure he cared.

Julie frowned. "Can I drop my bag?"

"Where'd you park?"

"Parking garage. A couple of blocks away."

It was pricy, but not too bad for Chicago. If she was staying—and the bag seemed to indicate she wanted to—he'd show her a cheaper parking spot later tonight. For now ... "Okay." He took the bag from her, setting it just inside the door before closing and locking it again. "Come on. You like Thai food?"

"You eat Thai food?"

"I don't live in Dillon, Texas, anymore, Julie. I've tried a lot of things I never had the chance to before." He was sorry to sound snappish as soon as he'd spoken, but having her here was so strange, he felt like he was creeping along a narrow bridge in the dark, liable to fall off any minute now.

"Right. Sorry." She was quiet all the way to the restaurant.

They focused on ordering, making small talk over the menus. Only when the waiter had brought glasses of water and taken their order did Matt finally look at her across the table and ask the obvious question. "Julie, why are you here?"

"I ... I missed you."

It wasn't everything. It wasn't even close. He could see it in her eyes. "You're supposed to be in class. Taking finals."

She fiddled with her straw, not looking at him. "I know. I just ... Matt, can we not talk about this now? I really did miss you, and I—I don't know. I can't go back, and I can't go home, and I ... wanted to be here. With you. Can I just stay the weekend? Get my thoughts together, figure out what I'm doing? I thought ... maybe if I saw your Chicago, I'd have a better idea how to find my own, you know?"

Matt wasn't sure how much she was leaving out, but he could feel her hurting, and if he had loved her much less than he did he wouldn't have been able to turn her away in this condition. What he wanted to do was reach out and hold her, kiss her, bring her into his arms and into his new life and just ... keep her here. But she had been right when she said she needed to find her own way, and he didn't want to get tangled up with her again, not without being sure of where they both stood. He realized he hadn't answered her, that she was looking at him with wide, pleading eyes, holding her breath, waiting for him, and he nodded. "Okay." Then he smiled, because Julie always made him want to smile. "I'm glad you're here."

"Are you?"

"Yeah." He didn't know what the weekend would bring, and he had a strong suspicion she would leave him feeling more lonely and lost than he'd felt in months ... but she was here now, and that was what mattered.

She took a sip of her water. "Where do we go after this? Can I see your gallery?"

"Maybe. We're between shows right now, not much to see." Also, he wasn't sure he was ready to take her where people he knew could meet her, knowing the assumptions they'd make. "I have to work tomorrow night and Saturday, but I'm off Sunday, and I don't go in till four."

"Sounds good. Maybe I'll go to the movies or something."

He was relieved that she didn't expect him to drop everything. "Tomorrow morning, we'll take a walk around the neighborhood, so you know where everything is."

"Sounds great. Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He smiled. "You're welcome." No matter why she was here, he had wanted to show Julie Taylor his city since the moment he'd driven into it. He was going to enjoy this weekend—and he was going to try not to worry about what it meant.