It's been a couple of days since that conversation with Chan and Jeongin and quite a bit has changed. For starters, those two are dating now and even though it may have seemed a bit quick according to some of the other students, it made perfect sense to Jisung and their little friend group. Those two should've been together from day one in all honesty but for some reason they weren't.
Second difference: Jisung may just slightly, maybe, perhaps be having a little, mini, itty, bitty sexuality crisis alone in his bedroom... It's not a big deal though! He's just been thinking a lot lately which is surprising really considering this is the Han Jisung we're talking about here. But it's fine or he hopes it is at least. It's just weird he supposes, the way he's always been so adamant about how straight he was and yet he continued having intense thoughts about kissing his roommate almost a full week after the event.
Maybe that was a bit of a lie. It wasn't just thoughts, he was entirely imagining and fantasizing about kissing Hyunjin. Sometime he was even dreaming about it from time to time like a stupid preteen girl. And sometimes... It was perhaps more than just kissing that cropped into his mind.
"AARGHH THIS IS SO DUMB!"
Jisung swung his fist into the headboard of his bed, too weak to even leave a bad indent in the wood but a loud clattering resonated around the apartment as it slammed against the wall. He let out a strangled sob. Soon it turned to pitiful silent crying as he curled in on himself on his bed, hands hiding his face. His hands quickly grew wet with his burning tears, the pain in his eyes making him cry harder and hold back sharp sobs.
He hated his mind so much. Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin – that was all he could think about and it was driving him crazy. Not to mention it was accompanied by the thought of him maybe being somewhat into guys. He's never felt that way to any other guy before though and it was so bizarre and overwhelming to even consider. His whole life he never even entertained the idea of questioning his sexuality but maybe it was about time he actually gave it some thought.
A sob slipped his lips, he didn't want to think about it, he hated when he was wrong about something. It filled him with this unbelievable dread that would weigh down on him for months.
"JISUNG ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" The door swung open and a panicked Hyunjin was in the doorway. Jisung looked up to meet his roommates gaze, feeling like a stupid deer in headlights. "Oh- Oh, is something wrong? Did you hit your head? I heard the bang from the kitchen..."
Jisung started freaking out when Hyunjin rushed to his side to try inspect his head for any injury, little did he know Jisung had punched his headboard like an unappealing 'alpha male' podcaster. He was really the stupidest man alive and he wished he could just make his dumb brain shut up and just admit that he was probably bisexual already!
Oh. Well. That's a bit awkward.
Jisung is... Bisexual. He's saying it, not aloud mind you but he's saying it. And the weight he was expecting to crush him wasn't there? It was almost relieving to admit it. He felt strangely lighter and that made him cry more. However, these tears didn't burn like before
Around his midriff, Jisung could feel Hyunjin's arms pulling him in for a quick squeeze and he hugged back as best he could. Fuck his damn heartrate for increasing like crazy and fuck his face for getting so red. He wanted to kiss his roommate silly and scream out his discovery. He wanted to just pull Hyunjin closer and say;
"Hyung, I'm bisexual."
Oh shit, shit, shit- abort mission, Han Jisung you are one idiotic individual. Nobody, not even Elon Musk could compare to the pure stupidity that spilled out from his tiny little brain. He tensed up as Hyunjin backed out of the hug. Fuck, he was so screwed. He better start thinking about what to pack and find a random roommate to move in with last minute. Didn't that Wooyoung live alone at the moment? Sure he was crazy but probably better than here, right?
"Um..." Hyunjin started, a bewildered look on his face. "Same? Am I supposed to be shocked right now or something?"
Well. That's... Not what Jisung was expecting. At all. Uh, that's a tad bit awkward.
"You're... Not weirded out?"
"Why would I be? We're friends with three other gay guys, two other bisexuals and a pansexual pig." Hyunjin said, quirking his eyebrow at the bizarre comments coming from Jisung. Wow did he feel like an idiot. It was entirely true, Jeongin was gay and so were Minho and Seungmin. Felix and Chan were both bi and then Changbin was pan. Of course the whole friend group comprised of little gay gremlins were going to accept him, so why the hell was he so worked up in the first place?
"Fuck... I'm an idiot."
"Yeah I knew that already." Hyunjin teased with a roll of his eyes, a pretty smile on his perfect pink lips. Oh and here we go again, Jisung's back at it describing those plump lips that he still wants to kiss. Arguably even more so now that he's came out to the man in question. "but seriously what was that bang about, I almost spilt my coffee on myself!"
"Oh... Um, I punched my headboard..."
"Dramatic much?" Hyunjin rolled his eyes again as if he wasn't the most dramatic person to have ever existed. "Anyways, you keep wallowing in your awakening, I have caffiene waiting for me."
With that Hyunjin left Jisung all alone in his room again. He almost wanted to chase after him. Almost.
Oh the thought of kissing Hyunjin again really never was going to leave his mind, was it? Now that he's kind of figured out himself a bit more, it didn't help much and still made his stomach squirm and his face go bright red. Chan and Jeongin suggested a few days back that he should just talk to Hyunjin about it. At first the thought repusled him and it still sort of did. It would be so weird for your roommate to come over say “hey so I've been thinking about that time we were drunk and kissed under peer pressure and I think I might have a fatass crush on you that I buried away for years because I thought it was weird and that I was straight, anyways wanna kiss again?”.
Yeah.
Definitely not saying that.
Jisung sighed. Instead of doing his projects he might just brainstorm that potential conversation for a while.
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Fanfiction"I'm so manly that I'm dating a man!" -',✎ . . . In which Han Jisung is too stubborn to lose a game of gay chicken with his roommate, Hwang Hyunjin. ꗃ ꜆ׄ ✔︎COMPLETED : 2022/07/09 ꗃ ꜆ׄ HYUNSUNG, JEONGCHAN, CHANGLIX, 2MIN ✎ Arabic Translation : @vi...