Xylina has been independent almost her entire life, She couldn't afford to look after anyone but herself, that alone was taxiing. When she is sent to the ground tasked with keeping 99 delinquents alive, she only has one priority. Herself.
*extended...
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"He has experienced things you cannot begin to understand,
you're only making him stronger."
"You still have your heart, Bellamy Blake,
don't let your head ruin that."
"The stars will go out before I forget you."
"If we were in a different situation I'd tell you how hot this is."
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"Who we are and who we need to be
to survive are very different things."
"I'm a monster."
"If you don't stop putting yourself in danger,
I'm gonna kill you myself."
"Whatever the hell we want."
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Fire. That's what she was. The flames flickering, their presence forever etched into your skin. The heat that warmed Bellamy to the core. The ash that left a trail everywhere she would step.
And Bellamy?
Bellamy was the coal, he is what kept her burning. When she begins to flicker, when she begins to burn out. He is there to reignite her, to never let her dim.