Adrift - LenRisa

Torn - Part 4

"Sorry. Pero, ano ba kasi 'to?"

"What do you mean?"

"Eto Leni. Ano 'to? Ano 'tong pinapakita at pinaparamdam mo sa'kin?"

"Na ano, Risa?"

"Leni naman e."

"Can you calm down first? We have a lot of patients outside. Please sit down. Calm down."

I sat and my tears started to flow. All the emotions I couldn't understand in the past weeks, they all came as tears.

"Ssshhh. You don't need to cry, Risa." she sat in front of me and wiped my tears.

I inhaled deeply to calm myself but I couldn't keep this any longer.

"Leni. I think I'm falling for you."

I saw how shocked she was.

"Wha-what? You are what?"

"I. . . I love you, Leni."

She didn't answer. I also couldn't understand her reaction.

"P-please listen. I know I'm married. I know this is not right, but, I fell for your actions. Yang pagiging sweet mo, yang pagiging maalaga mo, lahat ng mga sinasabi mo, the way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you changed simula nung naging close tayo. Lahat Leni. They mean something, right?"

She stood up and put her hand in her temple.

"Wait, Risa. I think we have a misunderstanding here." she said.

Wait. What?!

"I didn't expect you would interpret everything in that way. Oh my god." she continued.

"W-what do you mean a misunderstanding?"

My breathing became very unstable. I could feel my heart was about to explode.

"Oh my god, Risa. Sorry. I didn't mean you would take it as that. Yes. You are special to me. But not in that way. I cared for you as a friend. I'm sorry. I think it's my bad. I didn't have any close friends for a very very long time so I really don't know how to treat a friend properly."

"W-wait. Stop. You mean, we are not in the same page, Leni?"

She just looked at me.

"Oh fuck! This is so embarrassing."

I took my bag and ran out. I heard her calling me but I didn't bother to stop.
I could barely feel my knees, I even didn't know where to go but I didn't stop running.

I rode a taxi.

"Manong kahit saan, please." I said.

The driver looked at me and definitely he saw how devastated I was and I was also literally sobbing out loud inside his taxi. He drove right away.

I didn't know how long it took us but he brought me in the seashore.

"Wala pong masyado tao dito pag ganitong oras ma'am. Isigaw mo lang po yan. Magiging okay din po kayo." the driver said.

I was about to pay him but he refused to accept.

"Maging okay lang po kayo ma'am, oks na tayo dyan. Ingat po kayo."

"Salamat manong."

But I still put the money in the side of the gear shift before I went out the taxi.

I walked on the seashore and sat afterwards. My tears were still flowing uncontrollably. If I was confused before, I am more confused now. Hindi ko maintindihan lahat. Lahat pala yun for friendship lang?