27 • Healing

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I'd be lying if I said the month following our disastrous fake engagement party was perfect

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I'd be lying if I said the month following our disastrous fake engagement party was perfect. Jae had been put on thirty days of convalescent leave to heal from his surgery, and I'd been dragging my feet on finding a new job.

We were still in Newport, staying at the little downtown apartment his family had until his military orders to Annapolis were finalized.

Jae wasn't returning to Team Six—not because they kicked him off—Commander Marcus had begged him to stay—but because he wanted to leave.

"I want more time with my family and less time fucking my hand." Was his delicate way of putting it. Then he'd asked me, "Is that alright with you? If I'm not a SEAL anymore?"

I wrapped my arms around him, staring into pretty hazel eyes framed with long black lashes. "It's never been about your job. It's only ever been about you. The man that you are, and the heart beating inside your chest."

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" was his only reply.

After many long talks and meeting with a couple's counselor, we decided to move in together. This time, not because anyone told us to, but because it felt right. We were both ready for a change in scenery after our summer in Newport.

Even though Jae and I were free of his father and I had Lydie back in my life, we were both still battling our own demons. My anxiety after months of continuous stress was sky high, and Jae's PTSD had reared its ugly head. Even though we were doing all the right things—therapy, exercise, connecting with family, hobbies— there were still sleepless nights.

One particularly bad night in August, when neither of us could sleep, Jae suggested we go for a walk along the beach.

"The ocean air and the sand will clear our heads."

I was tired. And, tired of being tired. But, it was impossible to tell this man no, especially when he asked so sweetly.

The fact that he was shirtless also helped. He was all tattoos and muscle, even after a month of rehab, and the combination of his low, sweet voice and the pull of his presence had me saying yes.

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