Queens of the Forrest

| Chapter 11: deja vu |

"I'll make you remember... you will... I-I know you're still there, my love. You have to be."

I blink, shake my head and find myself kneeled down at the wild flowers from earlier, the ones in pots.
"Be careful. Those flowers next to you are Milkweed. Very poisonous."
I look down and the golden dead butterflies are gone and the cub is no longer in my arms.
Then I realize everything is off.
     I feel off.
Didn't this happen already? Sort of? Wasn't I looking at the pots?
"I'm sorry. How'd you find me? I—I was...was... I—"I stop. How do I make sense of my thoughts? Where was I going in the first place? How'd I end up here?? What? What's going on?!!! "I.. I..."
I let go of our intertwined hands and the memories come back. My memories? Voices? A memory begins to play in the forefront of my mind.

"Get away from meeee! You... you monster... you... beast!"
     He (the one ones been with me since what feels like an eternity.. the man with the left golden eye and with a dark muddy/green right eye) forcibly grabs me and kisses me. It feels forced. Wrong. And suddenly I feel dirty.

     The memory melts away. And I'm left Confused. Sick. Tired. I blink once more and I notice I'm gripping the hem of my sleeping gown so hard my knuckles turn pale. I let it go as I flex my fingers and rub the temple between my eyes.
"Here, let me help you."
I jerk away from his voice then I feel guilty because all he's ever done is help me. Is he though, helping? A voice shots back. I turn around but there's no one but him. I shake my head and lean into him as he carries me back to the room. Back to the start.
"I'll show you Beast. But not now. You're fragile. And you're tired. I'll bring up some refreshments."
"But, but you showed me Beast." I correct.
He stops, eyes me suspiciously.
"The little white cub?" I add.
"He's no cub now."
"What? But I s-" I begin to question my sanity now but he cuts me off.
"You're tired."
     I nod. It's all I can do and as my eyelids flutter in and out of focus. Colors meshing until everything is muted and bright and in between. Confusing me.
I feel him placing me back on the bed. And draping the soft covers over me. And then a kiss. A tender one on my cheek. An oh so tenderly one.
"I missed you. I missed you so, so very much. Please come back to me Van-" is all my ears register as I'm pulled into a dream.

       I'm dancing in a deep crimson gown. Their are mirrors. So many of them. Gold trimmed ones. In each one a reflection stares back. Hollowly. She looks like me yet not quite. She has high cheekbones, black hair pulled tightly to display raised eyebrows and a strong cutting jaw. Everything screams power, money, and undeniable dangerous beauty. But theirs a underline tone in her eyes. Loneliness. And fear? What could she be afraid of. She's a goddess. Well, at the very sight of her, she looks like one. I look down at my dress. I look like one. And I look like her yet not quite.

       "Vanadey!" A familiar voice calls. "Oh, there you are, my love. I've been looking everywhere. Now, may I ask for this dance?"

       "Of course, Kal Mori."

       He grin, "why does my name sound like a curse under your lips?"

        She, I, (whoever it is in the mirror) laughs and it's a velvety thing that bounces against the ballroom.

        "You need a new name."

        "And what would that be?" He raises his brows as he extends his hand and they begin to twirl around, dizzyingly so.

        "My Beastie." She whispers as the song closes to an end and they part ways. But not without Kal planting one of his kisses on her hands.