his unfinished symphony - a vigilante deku story

ch. I: it wasn't meant to be

-TW: this chapter mentions mental abuse, self-harm, and suicide-

       The world is unfair and cruel. That’s a lesson you learn early on in life when you’re quirkless. 80% of the population has a quirk, I am part of that 20% that doesn't. 

       It's hard not having a quirk. If you have one, you're lucky, and if you don't… well you're in for a lifetime of torment and abuse if you don't end up ending it yourself. 57% of quirkless people commit suicide by the age of 16. 

       By the time we went into 8th grade, Bakugou has been tormenting me for 10 years. I considered him my hero, but when he found out that I was quirkless he threw me away like a used napkin. His name is Bakugou Katsuki.

       We can go on and on about how the world is cruel and how everything changes at the age of four but I don't have the time to, nor do I want to go on.  Actually, I don't want to do anything anymore. I haven't for a long time. I have had no motivation to do anything for the past few years. I barely take hero/villain notes anymore. The only reason I still write about villains and heroes is that I plan on giving Kacchan my journals when I die. They will help him when he becomes a pro hero. I’ve been planning on committing for about 3 years now, I can't handle anymore tormenting. 

       Lucky for me, I won't be here any longer than a few hours. I don't have anyone here to stay for, so I'm doing everyone a favor. Kacchan, mom, bullies, aunty, the world. The world doesn't need a quirkless reject like me, so I'm doing the world a favor. I'm going to follow Kacchan’s advice.

-Flashback-

       The lunch bell had rung around 5 minutes ago. I was resting my head in my arms on my desk because I don't feel like eating. I'd rather stay in here and sleep or think. I was ripped out of my thoughts by a loud bang next to my head, followed by small pops and crackling noises.

‘Oh no, it's Kacchan. What have I done this time?’

“Oi, shitty Deku! Are you looking down on me?! Writing in those stupid little notebooks of yours.” His booming voice rang in my ears. I looked up at him in fear. He snatched a journal with the number 13 on the spine. 

“What if I blow this thing up? Huh?”

“Please don't, Kacchan. What did I do to upset you this time?” I asked, trembling. 

“Some extras told me that you applied to go to UA high!” he said, flipping through the pages.

 A quirkless nobody like you would never get in” he said before blowing up my journal.

“Just pray to be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a swan dive off the roof of the building,” he said, throwing my, now burnt, journal number 13 out the window. Scoffing before turning around and walking out of the classroom. I immediately went to retrieve it. I can't have anyone finding that. I have information not known to the public about villains and heroes. I’m so glad he didn't see “Villain Analysis” on the front page. 

-End Flashback-

       Standing at the edge of the school's rooftop, I look down. It's noon and we have class, but I skipped. Nobody would notice I'm gone anyway.

‘Wow… I never realized how tall this building is…’

       I have my notes in my hand. I wrote them months ago. So that's it… I’m going to die. No more pain, no more bullies, no more going home and hurting myself. No more of this horrible nightmare people call life.

I smile, ‘Im finally going to be free.’

       I take off my red shoes and put the two notes under one of them so the wind won't blow them away. I roll up my sleeves and look at my scars. Half from Kacchan, half from me. My chest, stomach, arms, and face are covered in burn scars and marks. I cover the ones you can see with concealer. If anyone saw those, Kacchan would get blamed because he’s the only one with a quirk that would leave those scars. He would never be able to get into UA, let alone become a pro hero.

       My thighs, left wrist, and upper arms are covered in self-inflicted scars and fresh cuts. I’ve had to stitch some of them up myself. I want to die, but I don't want my mom to walk in on her son’s cold corpse covered in blood. At least this way, she wouldn't be grieving and traumatized, having found me. 

       I step onto the edge and look at all the people walking, it's probably lunch. Then I see kacchan, it only made me smile more. I’ll finally be out of his hair. He can be happy now with me gone. Leaving this life will only do good for everyone. I only want to make everyone’s lives easier. I was, again, deep in thought softly smiling at Kacchan from the edge. He's laughing with all of his friends, oblivious to what's about to happen. I wonder what life would be like if I were in their position. Sitting with him eating lunch and laughing at stupid shit. I wish life could have been different. If only I was born with a quirk, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't hate me so much. 

       To think that when I was little my biggest fear was heights… now here I am and I've never been happier. Tears were welling up in my eyes, making my vision go slightly blurry. 

“I guess it was never meant to be..” I said with a small smile, finally letting the tears fall from my eyes, rolling down my warm cheeks as I let go of the railing, falling backward off the building. 

       Who knew it would be so peaceful. I don't hear anything but the soft hum of the wind, I feel it blowing through my hair. Im happy, it's finally over. I finally reach the ground with a simple crack and everything goes black. 

~word count- 1,026~