When I Was, Now I Am

Chapter Five

Ten
(Fair warning, this chapter may be triggering to SA victims)

When I was ten years old my parents finally admitted the reason behind moving, and it had everything to do with Tommy.

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I spent the entire school year looking forward to a jam-packed summer full of movies with Raven, visits to the pool, and water guns in the back yard, but none of that came to fruition. The moment the school year ended Mom and Dad started getting a series of phone calls that lasted for hours on end. To the point that any playtime I had with Raven was strictly at her house, not mine.

Of course, Mr. and Mrs. Moreau were happy to oblige but I knew I couldn't interfere with their schedule forever. They had plans of their own and it was wrong of me to intrude on them so easily. Raven on the other hand didn't seem to care, but Raven wasn't the best at reading people. That was my job. While I worked to prevent issues, Raven retaliated when they arose.

For a while, things were fine. Raven, Tommy, and I picked up neighborhood baseball games using garbage cans as bases, or committed war crimes with water guns, but eventually the phone calls Mom and Dad received began to effect Tommy too. There were times he sat beside them at the kitchen table for hours on end listening to some monotone voice ramble on the other end of the line.

It wasn't until men in carefully pressed suits showed up at our house that I knew something serious was going on. For a moment, I thought Tommy was in trouble, but Mom was quick to soothe those worries. She promised me that the strange men in ties were there to help, not hurt. Still, I didn't trust them. They regarded me with half smiles that held no warmth, and often dismissed me from the room as if they were in charge of my own home. At first, it upset me, but neither mom nor dad protested so I took it with a grain of salt.

Unfortunately, my anxieties only worsened with time. One evening dad came home with a series of deconstructed carboard boxes that my heart sink. The last time this happened we'd moved halfway across the country. Heart pounding, I tried to stay calm until mom came home followed shortly by the same strange, suited men.

"Are we moving again?" I asked, fear settling in my chest.

"Just for the summer," Dad replied, hastily pulling out a folded piece of paper. "Here's what you need to pack, okay? We're staying with Grandma and Grandpa."

"But why? What's wrong?" For the life of me, I couldn't get a straight answer. For some reason they were keeping me in the dark.

"We can talk about it later. We need to do this quickly, darling. We have a short window of opportunity. It's to help your brother," Dad insisted. With that, he went back to work and passed over my packing list.

Dutiful as ever, I packed my things as quickly as possible along with Tommy and mom. In the span of two days our car was loaded up with boxes. Raven stood watching from the front yard like she had four years ago, only she didn't run away this time. Instead, she observed us with a wounded expression. While I'd done my best to explain to her what was happening, we were both grasping at straws. I couldn't give her the specifics she so desperately wanted, which meant there was no guarantee we'd be coming back at all.

Before we could pull away from the driveway, I noticed the sheen of tears in Raven's eyes. This was twice now that I had left her for an extended period of time. First at school and now during summer. It wasn't fair and I knew it, but there was nothing I could do to fix it. Rolling down the window, I did the only thing I could. I called out to her, "I'll see you soon! I'll call you!"