Mike had turned onto his side away from him, falling asleep rather quickly. But he couldn't exactly sleep. He was replying the event and feeling a small amount of guilt. But all the guilt in the world couldn't compare to the elation he was experiencing. He had finally taken what he wanted, even if it had been a bit one sided, to an extent. If anyone found out, they'd be condemned, not that they weren't already by all that was holy.
The next morning Jensen got up before Mike, sidling out of bed as to not awake him. He had stayed the night because he didn't want to be an asshole. But it felt a bit strange sleeping with him. He wasn't sure where they'd go from here. Whether or not it would continue or if it was a one-time thing. If he were to be honest with himself, he didn't exactly want it to end there. To be in a relationship with your own cousin was unheard of, and to actually want it was alarming.
He got dressed and took the liberty of going to Mike's coffee maker to make them coffee. He sat at the table sipping it when Mike came in, looking even more disheveled than the night before, and extremely tired. He watched as he walked slowly to the coffee maker, pouring himself some coffee. Mike had woken up feeling like shit, he was relieved the tension and the lust had been released, but that didn't mean he wasn't a bit regretful, or that he didn't feel incredibly awkward. He didn't exactly want to face Jensen, but he knew he had to, because he was still in his home.
Mike sat down across from Jensen and took a sip of his coffee as Jensen asked, even though he could see the answer, "How are you feeling?"
Mike licked his lips and said flatly, "A little sore."
Jensen internally winced, but of course he was, anyone would be. They sat in silence until Mike broke it, stating, "So you have a girlfriend."
Jensen's demeanor fell, and he internally sighed, "Stacy."
Mike nodded, staring into his cup, "How long have you been seeing her?"
"Three years."
Shit, Mike thought, that was a long time. He didn't know what he had been wanting. For Jensen to break up with her? For him? That was just selfish and strange. He didn't know what to say to that so he stood up and set his mug on the counter, "I have to get ready for work."
Jensen's heart seized, he didn't like the sadness in Mike's voice, didn't like the dissociation, it concerned him. So he blurted out without thinking, "I meant it."
Mike turned, not exactly wanting to hear it, but he figured he'd humor his cousin. He just stared expectantly.
"I really do love you."
Mike sighed, "I love you too, Jensen." Then he turned and went back into his room.
Jensen finished his drink, wondering where they stood. Could they still be friends? Was this the end? He had just wanted so bad, craved so much, he couldn't help or stop himself. But it cost him the one man he truly cared for. All he could do was leave for work.
He sat in his office unable to give a shit about accepting or denying the invoices. He just kept brooding. He kept looking out the window to see if Mike had arrived yet, and when he did Mike didn't look in to meet his gaze. Jensen had the feeling they'd be nothing more than boss and secretary now. That hurt so fucking bad, but maybe in a year or so they could work back to being friends. It just needed a little time. He hoped.
Mike wasn't able to focus yet again. Though the voicemails gave him little room to think, at least. But he soon grew irritable. He didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted to keep Jensen in his life, and he also needed this job. But maybe he could look for a new one and move on. But he already knew he wouldn't be able to forget this; that Jensen would forever be on his mind. That he'd probably regret running away. Eventually the irritation got so much that he moved on autopilot to Jensen's office, barging through the door.
He rushed to the desk and slammed his hands onto it, hanging his head. His heart was beating loud in his ears with adrenaline, but he didn't even know why he had entered, or what he was even wanting to say. He just had to be close to his cousin, scared of losing him.
Jensen had been staring at his computer, telling himself to just fuck work for the day, chewing on a pen idly. He looked over in surprise when the door swung open, pen still in mouth. He stared at Mike, at how upset he looked, how he wouldn't look at him. He pulled the pen from his mouth as he stared in concern. Then he spoke quietly, "Are you quitting?"
"No," was Mike's easy reply. He most certainly was not.
"Are you mad at me?" It may have been a stupid question, but he had to know.
The question was a hard one to answer, but finally he decided on, "No."
Jensen was relieved, but he had one last question, "Do you want to end what we started?" He hoped not, because what he felt was insatiable.
It was then that Mike looked up from under his lashes, "No."
