They met at a nearby pub, soft oldies music, not many patrons. It felt private as they sat together in a corner booth. They may have looked a bit out of place but neither of them cared. They ordered rum, neither of them daring to even bring whiskey up. Mike was trying not to think about that time they first drank. And Jensen had to swallow down his own nerves about it. But this had been his idea, and he was going to have a damn good time having a drink with his cousin.
They talked and talked, until they were four drinks in and Mike began to recall the past, telling a story from when they were around eight, "Mrs. Withers! Haha! She was always getting so upset about us going into her yard to catch rabbits. She'd always yell, 'Get out of my yard you two! And take those rabbits with you!'"
Jensen laughed, nodding, "Oh yes. I remember that! I feel like she should have been grateful we were getting them out of her yard."
Mike made a psh sound before cracking up, "Exactly!" He shook his head. "Ahh, man. Those were the days."
Jensen swirled his drink, his eyes watering, but he felt a pang of melancholy at the statement, "Yes they were." He took a large gulp before saying, "I'm glad you're working with me."
Mike sipped at his drink before, "Of course. Thank you for giving me the job." He was having fun, and he saw this as a sentimental moment. It was nice to know Jensen was happy to have him, and it was also nice to spend some time with him. He took another sip as he stared at his- boss. His, hopefully, friend. His cousin that he wish he had never lost. He just stared.
Jensen looked back at him, his head fuzzy with rum. He felt good too, but he had a nagging feeling that something was still off. He felt a pang of something as he stared into Mike's eyes, some kind of connection. One he had never thought he'd miss, because he never thought he'd lose it. And the way Mike was looking at him, well, it scared him a bit. It was too familiar. But he knew he was looking at him just the same way. With some kind of longing. And that too scared him.
He broke eye contact to finish his drink, clicking the glass back down onto the table, "Thank you for coming out with me."
Mike saw the way he was looking at him, but it may have just been wishful thinking. He wanted to believe it was something. But he just didn't know what he wanted it to be exactly. All he knew was that he just craved some warmth. But the moment passed and he had to live with that. "Thanks for inviting me."
Jensen looked up with a smile, a small glint in his eye, "Next time it'll be at my place."
Mike wouldn't pass that opportunity up, ever. He needed more of Jensen in his life. It had been far too long and he had been deprived. They left the pub and hailed a taxi. They got in and Jensen insisted that they go to Mike's place first. They sat in silence, but Jensen was thinking about Mike in all the wrong ways. Drinking together had dredged up that night. He remembered the way the kiss felt, though it was pretty sloppy it had been arousing. He couldn't help but to wonder how they would do it differently now, if it would be the same. He turned his head to scan Mike's body with his eyes, taking in his mature form. He looked so different, so masculine; lean but toned. He didn't know why exactly he was checking his cousin out; he blamed it on the rum.
Mike turned his head and caught the way Jensen was looking him over. Jensen just lifted his gaze and smiled fondly. That smile melted Mike and he ignored the fact that Jensen had been roaming his body and smiled back.
They got to Mike's place, and just like all those years ago, Jensen got out to say goodnight, only this time it was just a farewell. He held out his arms to Mike and wrapped them around him, Mike's arms going up to his back, and they embraced. This time Jensen held it, no back pat, just a heartfelt hug. Mike didn't know what to do, he felt a bit caught off guard, but it was nice for the most part. Then Jensen gave him a squeeze and backed away slowly, just as he had done before.
Jensen grinned, bringing a hand up to Mike's cheek and Mike parted his lips, wondering what the hell it meant, but suddenly Jensen's hand gave a couple friendly slaps as he said, "Sleep well." Then he was moving back to the taxi, getting in and giving him a wink as he shut the door.
Mike thought that was weird. He made a face as he went to his door, shaking his head. Jensen was too much. But that was why he loved him.
The next day at work Mike had to pretend he didn't have a hangover. He continued on with the filing and the voicemail, all while still trying to catch Jensen's eye. He couldn't deny that something was happening between them when they looked at each other. He wanted to be in the same room as him, to be able to talk with him as he worked. He needed him so badly it hurt. It was all-consuming. He began to get agitated as he scanned and stapled, the stapler clicking hard and loud with each clamp. It was just his headache, he blamed.
Jensen felt an undeniable pull toward Mike. Every time their eyes locked he wanted to go out there, to invite him in; to do something, anything. It was somewhat driving him crazy. He had thought long and hard the night before about how he felt. Mike was an attractive man, he was sweet; he was a good friend. He should have never let him go. He couldn't get him off his mind. The way he looks in that suit, the way he smiles at him. He didn't want to believe it, but he wanted him. God damn it, he needed him. His own god forsaken cousin. He was completely fucked.
Without thinking, possibly because he had been thinking too much, he went to the door and opened it. Mike's head shot in his direction mid-staple, and he looked a bit surprised. But he lowered his hands and set his jaw, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Jensen didn't give anything away, simply smiled and said, "Come here."
Mike didn't know what to expect, maybe he had a new task for him, something to take him away from the repetitive nature of the ones he had. He stood and did as he was told, idly thinking about how he was so quick to please Jensen, his new boss. He still couldn't get over that. He stepped through the threshold and stepped aside so Jensen could shut the door. He didn't have a moment to know what was about to happen before it happened. He was suddenly slammed into the little bit of wall between the window and door, Jensen's mouth crashing into his.
Jensen had acted on autopilot. Although he was nervous and anxious and scared, so many feelings bubbling up inside him, he was good at remaining calm under pressure. He'd had the image of kissing Mike in his mind all day, and it had grown to be too much. He needed to act on it. He just needed it. He could feel it seeping into his bones, the craving. It was so maddeningly wrong, but it got him so insanely hot. So he just did it, he pushed Mike up against the wall and kissed him hard. His fucking cousin. And not only that, but he was his boss. It was risqué in so many ways that his head spun with excitement. There was a pinch of guilt thrown in, but he didn't give a damn about anything at that moment. All that mattered was that he had this intoxicating man pinned to the wall.
It happened so fast that Mike's head was spinning. He didn't expect it at all, thought it was in the past. Hadn't allowed himself to even dream of this ever happening again. And this time was even better, this time it was passionate. He could feel how badly Jensen wanted him through the sheer power of it. He groaned into the harsh kiss, his lips moving desperately along with his older cousin's. It was a rush, the condemning nature of it, the fact that they were blood, and that they were breaking rules. His body flushed with so much heat that he could hardly stand it. God, he needed Jensen just as much as he needed him. But, even so, he broke the kiss by turning his head and whimpering, as though he didn't want it. As though he were in pain. Because he was, he wanted it, but it was wrong.
Jensen was mad with desire, and he had to get it out some way. So he began to grind into Mike, his semi-hard member getting the friction it needed. "Tell me you remember this," he spoke gruffly.
"No," was Mike's reply, "No, Jensen." He acted like he wanted him to stop, that he didn't want it, but he didn't make any attempt to push him away, except for pushing himself further back into the wall and turning his head even more. The feeling of Jensen's manhood rubbing against him turned him on more than it should have. He wanted his cousin to use him, to get off on him.
The pleas went ignored as Jensen used the turn of Mike's head to latch his lips onto his throat, kissing and sucking as he continued to gyrate his hips. He was feverish with lust, and the taste of the other's skin sent another rush of arousal through him. Even the resistance was turning him on.
"Jensen, stop," Mike continued to press, and in a breathy voice he added, "This is-"
Jensen drew his head back, "Wrong?"
"Yes," Mike answered, his voice shaky. He couldn't hide the fact that he was growing hard now, that he was consumed by just as much heat.
"You didn't seem to think it was wrong ten years ago," Jensen husked.
Finally Mike pushed him away, even if it was just slightly, "That was different." His voice wavered like he was overcome with emotion, because he very much was.
Jensen stopped his movements, but his arms remained put, trapping Mike from moving away, "Because we were drunk?"
"Yes," the younger whimpered again.
Jensen was annoyed, he was so turned on that the thought of pulling away was painful. He leaned forward like he was going to kiss him again, his expression pained when he pulled back a moment later. Finally he released the other, "Come to my place tonight."
Mike was shaking, he didn't know if he could hold his footing. He only took a second to think before he nodded, "Ok." He swallowed and said again, "Ok."
Jensen turned to walk around his desk and Mike left through the door, dazed. He didn't know how he could work after that. He was confused. The night before they had been like they used to be. How did it come to this?
