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I still can't believe what I did

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I still can't believe what I did. Why was I so harsh to him? Fucking hell, I was just so incredible angry that he fucked Dante. Like Dante?

I didn't even know that Dante was a bottom in the past until some unknown number send the picture. It's to be honest just the fact that he was small. Carlos just fucked small guys and I'm not small at all so I got so fucking angry and disappointed with both of them. I'm kinda insecure about my look. I'm not the typical bottom that is small, cute and submissive. Okay, I like it when Carlos is dominant but I'm just not the art of bottom. I'm just scared he'll find another one, a smaller one.

But the fact that they knew each other is fucking disappointing me. Fucking assholes! But I can't forget that face. The face of Carlos when I said it's disgusting. He thought I meant him but I didn't. It was just the thought of them doing this shit was and is so fucking disgusting.

I'm walking in the fucking rain in the middle of the fucking night through Chicago. I have to go home and I bet Carlos is worried about me. Maybe he's even angry with me because I overreacted?

I shake my head, erasing those thoughts. It's too fucking cold to think! I'll get sick and I hate when I get sick. It's annoying and useless.

"Hey", I hear a unknown voice

I turn around and see a totally stranger.

"Uhm hey?"

"Are you okay? It's raining", he asks

"The fuck you want?"

"I just wanted to ask if you're okay"

"Yeah and we don't know each other so it's none of your business"

"Not yet", he murmurs and leaves

The fuck? Typical Chicago. Only weird guys.

As I entered our house, it's quiet. Where is he? Maybe sleeping? I almost screamed as I feel something at my feet. He's sleeping on the ground? I kneel down to him, just to feel that his clothes are still wet and cold. Why would he sleep on the ground?

"Carlos", I whisper, stroking his cheek

Shit, he's burning up. Did he run after me? For sure.

"Wake up", I say, stroking over his arm

He opens his eyes and starts to shiver. I never saw him like that before.

"Mi Amor?", he whispers in disbelief, "Are you okay? Your clothes are drained. Let's change them"

I suddenly start to cry because of his lovely care. He should care about himself and not about me! He's so caring.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm sorry", I mumble sobbing

"No. I'm sorry that I did that to you"

"Let's take a hot bath together", I say, helping him to his feet

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