All I Ever Wanted

Chapter 11- The Lies We Tell Ourselves

~Rai's POV~ 

The first day of the second semester was over and I was waiting for Aaron with Vi, Riley, Nova and Tristan. When I saw Aaron basically sprinting out of school could either be good or bad. Just as Aaron was about to approach Jamar (my ex) and some of his basketball groupies strolled over. 

"Damn Rai, I saw you like 10 times today and why the hell you didn't say hi?? I mean after all we've been through and you treat me like this." Jamar said trying to show off to his buddies and making a totally ass of himself. 

Me on the other hand not giving a fuck just ignored him and continued talking to Vi. I glanced at Jamar out of the coner of my eye and he looked pissed coming closer towards my car. But I just kept on ignoring him because he is a waste of my time. 

"HEY RAI, what the fuck??? you ignoring me..why?? I mean I thought we were cool..." he said not as cocky but more like he was pissed that I was ignoring him. And with that I turned to Aaron who was just approaching the car "hey A-RUN!!!" I said running over to Aaron to just get the reaction out of Jamar. I turned my body in front of him close but not too close. "Hey, how was your first day??" I said while myy fingers lingering up and down his chest. 

"UMMM....it was ok, I mean it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be...Razor??" Aaron said looking at me like 'what the fuck' and he started looking around at my friends and Jamar and his groupies. I looked into Aarons beautiful forest green eyes and turned my head to Jamar trying to get him to play along with me. And with that Aaron nodded and looked down at me standing right in front of him. He gave me his famous smirk and I knew right then I was in trouble. Then before I could react, Aaron's lips smashed against mine and I took me a second for my brain to register and I kissed him back. After I was finally getting into it Aaron pulled away "now pooo-key, that just made my day a whole lot better" he said with a smirk and kissed my forehead. He backed up and I turned around frozen, I looked at my friends who were shocked. I swear Riley looked like he was about to kick Aaron's ass but thank god Vi was there. But as soon as I looked towards the direction of Jamar he was right in front of me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me away.

"JAMAR, LET ME GO!! YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME!!" I said pleading to let me go because I just regretted what I just did. Why the hell did I try to make Jamar jealous by flirting with A-Run but why the hell did he kiss me??? I was snapped out of my gaze by Jamar turning me around grabbing both of my forearms so I am facing him. The look in his face wasn't jealousy it was actually hurt. He was hurt.. 

Shaking me to look him in the eyes "Rai, what the fuck was that? I mean first you ignore me and then you flirt with some boy in front of me and that douche has the nerve to make out with you in front of me...Tell me Rai, I just wanted to talk but I guess coming with my friends was wrong but what you did was low Rai, I mean I would never flirt with a girl in front of you." he said with passion and concern.

WOW i MEAN WHAT THE FUCK, NOW HE IS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT...OHH HELL NOOO HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW...GOD I FUCKING HATE HIM NOW..that is what was screaming through my head after he said that. He kept on staring at me directly in the eyes but I didn't even catch his gaze because I didn't want to look him in the eyes because I know what I did was wrong but i couldn't let him know that. All I said to myself is I guess these are the lies we tell ourselves because honestly I am not over Jamar. I mean I was head over heels for him and I made him fall for me...and I guess we just fell to hard and finally fell hard on the concret, alone and bitter. GOD right now my life is sounding like a Katy Perry song. But what we had was special. I made the player of the school fall for me and made him stop being a man whore. He was committed to me and only me. He had eyes for only me and no one. I guess I am saying that he was my first true love and we only dated for a year and half.