Spark

Chapter 5 - Forbidden

When they both came to, Welle just about threw himself across the room and they both just stared at each other completely devoid of words to even speak what they were feeling.

'God dammit! THAT is what I was afraid of seeing, Alma!' Welle smacked his fist on the floor out of frustration. 'I shouldn't have tried to help you up, that was such a stupid mistake.' He groaned, he was so annoyed with himself for not being careful.

'I think I should go.' Alma said quietly, her voice wavering. Welle felt his heart flop at the shake in her voice, it was incredibly hard to stop himself getting up to comfort her, but he absolutely could not cross that line.

'Yes. Please.' Alma nodded, she understood exactly why he was so upset. He was furious with himself. Alma got to her feet reluctantly and made her way to the door. 

Welle stayed where he was, not making eye contact - he was too afraid he would accidentally trigger another glimpse if he moved or looked at her. It hurt Alma to just leave him there, but what other choice was there. The door shut with a thud and he heard her footsteps as she ran to her car, the engine starting up, her driving away. He was alone, and for the first time in his life - that felt crushingly awful. It hurt. Welle had never been the kind of person to yearn for, or even really enjoy another's company so this was a very conflicting and new feeling for him. Alma's presence brought out many emotions that he was not used to feeling and he hated in at this moment - feelings like that would get him into trouble and he was not a troublemaker. He followed the rules and he liked order. This entire situation was the definition of chaos. That last glimpse into the past had made him feel something that was completely and utterly forbidden, it terrified him.

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Alma couldn't sleep that night. There was an empty echo of their past lives going around and around in her head. She could still hear him yelling, how angry he was with himself. That pick-up truck was the straw that broke the camels back, there was already tension but that last glimpse was the end of them being able to see each other again. There was something more than shared memories now, and that was dangerous. The last thing she wanted was to get Welle into any trouble - she would just focus on her study, pass her exams and get to her birthday. They could work out what to do after she turned 18.

A message pinged her phone, it was 2am. Preeti slept like a log - it had to be Welle.

'I'm sorry about tonight. I hope I didn't scare you. I was just so angry with myself.'

'I know. I'm sorry too, i pushed you way too hard when I could see you were uncomfortable.' Alma was regretful and a little bit ashamed that she was so desperate to continue seeing him that she didn't think about the repercussions. 

'It was on both of us. We shouldn't have met up tonight, that was a really stupid decision - that was always going to happen. We're like magnets and right now, I hate it.' Alma sniffled, she did too - what had happened to them that they had fallen out of sync with one another.

'Me too. Maybe I died, I'm the one behind clearly' She mused.

'Maybe I died though. I'm ahead, I was born first this time. I hope we don't have to glimpse that memory.' Alma's heart skipped, that is definitely not something she wanted either of them to see or feel.

'I don't want to know.' She replied.

'I don't know where to go from here, Alma. It physically hurts to be distant from you, but it's not a good idea for us to spend time together.' 

'It's only a few months. We can figure it out after I turn 18.' Alma wiped a tear from her cheek. Suddenly she felt a warm, fuzzy presence in her body - it was like a tiny, bright light trying to invade her soul. She let it in tentatively, it felt so very familiar. Her phone buzzed, Welle was calling her - she hesitated for a moment before answering, she was silent on the other end.

'I can feel that you're really hurt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry.'

'Is that you' Alma whispered sniffling, another tear streaming down her cheek.

'I felt how you were feeling. I.. I just.. I don't know how to explain it. I wanted so badly to comfort you and it was like a channel opened. The one where we see through each other.' He seemed slightly panicked, as if he didn't have a choice in what he was doing.

'I can feel you in there, and it is comforting, i can feel your intention was good. I didn't know we could make it happen like that.' 

'Neither did I. Alma, I really didn't mean to make you upset. You understand why it has to be like this, don't you. The way that glimpse made me feel tonight has huge repercussions and I don't want anything to happen to either of us. It hurts me too.' His voice was gentle, he was genuinely concerned for her and wanted to bring her comfort.

'I know. You didn't make me sad Welle, it's just the whole situation. That glimpse just brought back things I had forgotten I felt and it's so confusing, it's so familiar and it's like my soul is just begging me to run right back over there. I know I can't, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.' She had stopped crying, it was now more of bone deep sad acceptance that resonated in her soul - it was a heavy situation that had no easy fix to it.

'I don't know how to fix this. I don't think we can right now.' He was just as sad as she was.

'Can we keep in touch at least.' She asked hopefully.

'I don't know if we should, Alma.' 

'I hate it, but I get it. What about the channel. That's kind of out of our control.'

'It only opened when I felt a really strong emotion from you, so maybe it's not random at all. That's maybe okay though - it means I can make sure you're okay.' Welle replied tenderly, she could tell her cared for her deeply. It was such a complicated and confusing situation for the both of them, but regardless of that - their souls were undeniably connected and that couldn't be undone now.