FROM THEN TILL NOW

Chapter II

It's now January and after 4 months back and forth in the hospital, your girl is finally back home in San Diego. It felt so good to be home other than the fact my mom refused to let me go back to school. I mean I could understand her perspective of the situation that any small amount of sickness can send your child into the hospital but still, that was not what I was thinking then.

"Mom that isn't fair I should be allowed at school just like the other kids"

I said with a snappy attitude.

" No, I'm not everyone's else parent and everyone didn't just get out of the hospital, you have to remember Taylor you are ur still sick even though you don't look sick"

At that moment, my mother's words never sank deeper than on that day. She eventually let me go back and when she did I was so happy, I got to see all my friends and even some family. Things were going pretty well until I started ( being some may say being disobedient but I call it) being a teen, But around June 2018 I stopped taking medication. I didn't do it. After all, I wanted to die more so because I was ten and I was under a lot of stress for only being ten, Every other week it was a hospital visit blood draw, and more things a ten-year-old shouldn't have to go to. I know, I know you are probably thinking

"Taylor why would you do that it's like you're trying to kill yourself"

I wasn't though I just wanted to feel what I thought was normal and regular. Soon after my liver went into rejection which for a ten-year-old is very scary. They gave me 1,000 mg of Prednisone which is a medication that normally makes you all big and chubby, which that's what it did but it also made me sick to my stomach.

" Taylor do you now understand the consequences of your actions"

That is what I was constantly told from that day forward, People didn't understand the pain I was going through and why I went down that route. By the time it was March (my birthday) I still wasn't in school and I missed all my friends genuinely and with all that time of not being around, I started to fall into a deep depression, AT TEN! Now you see why I said a ten-year-old shouldn't have to go through this. Nancy, Kyro, Maliya, All the names of the therapist I had that year. Each one was different in their way somewhere nice, somewhere mean one was even a cat person but the one thing that made them, all the same, is that they couldn't help me, which wasn't something I could control, I was ten, I barely knew what depression was yet its something I had to go through.

" Congratulations Taylor 1 year down"

These are the words I heard on October 21st, 2018 as I am officially one year into my liver transplant. Knowing I had been through that was honestly so thrilling, being called an inspiration was honestly the words I loved hearing. It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies though I never rejected again, I did have another "Phase" where I stopped taking my medicine again though. Not because I wanted to die but like I previously said I was tired.Tired of going through what I went through, lots of people thought that I wanted to die but I didn't I don't wanna say I wanted to seek attention but then again I did. The attention I got while being sick was like no other attention for a child, I was ten and the nurses at the hospital gave me everything I wanted and more, candy, ice cream, toys, and more things I wanted. Now for a ten-year-old, that was heaven but the hospital also came with its downsides such as IVs and pic lines and even small procedures like biopsies. The hospital is like a ying-yang sign some parts of it are good other parts not so much but there's always a little good in the bad and some bad in the good.

"How's Taylor doing Aida?"

That is what my aunt would ask my mom every time she saw her and surprisingly my "unbothered" mom would always reply with

"She is fine GOD DAMN STOP ASKING".

I don't think it was the part that they were asking more so that they would continuously ask and when they did it would be as if they were implying she wasn't a fit parent I always felt people treated my mom as if she was less inferior as them or she couldn't live up them, seeing them treat my mom that way really made me want to stand up towards my aunt because I felt who was she to speak on my mother that way but I couldn't say this then I was only ten.