Our Infinite Sadness

Seraphim

Ben had been transferred from observation to recovery, in his prearranged private room, by the time Alice returned in the early evening, trundling an entire wardrobe of ridiculous dresses, shoes and accoutrements for Edythe, with the diplomatic reminder that she had been wearing the same blood soaked rags for ten hours.

Alice helped her to wash and change into a smooth cream dress with cutout fret lines around the waist and short sleeves, reminiscent of the geometric meandros tilings that circumscribed Grecian amphoræ. She attached above Edythe's left breast a heart-shaped brooch fashioned from dozens of rubies. God only knew where she had found the ridiculous bauble in Phoenix.

They stood in the small bathroom together. Alice turned Edythe to face the mirror and declared with satisfaction that she was once again perfect.

Edythe scowled at herself and said, "Well I'm no longer macabre."

"Your eyes are going back to butterscotch."

Edythe nodded and whispered, like a pledge, "Not for long."

Alice chuckled and nodded with a conspiratorial grin, and then pursed her lips. "I'm sorry Edy. I'm sorry I doubted you."

Edythe closed her eyes and sighed. They were all regarding her as some kind of demigoddess. How best to explain that her astonishment surpassed theirs? "I was resolved to grant his final wish and kill him. And then somehow kill myself, though I'm at a loss as to how I would have succeeded at that. Whatever happened in there, it wasn't me."

"It was the two of you, Edythe. You and Benjamin, you are one person. That is what I doubted. I'm sorry. I promise you that it will never happen again. I will fight for Ben's life. His human life. Just as hard as you, and damn the portents."

Edythe nodded and began to weep. In their strange, tearless way.

Alice held her for a long time.

At some point Alice conducted a bit of nosey fishing, with the entrée that Edythe must have received a preternaturally incensed visitor that afternoon. Edythe still felt shaken to the core by her altercation with Zoey Martine. Edythe had no doubt of Zoey's resolve to hunt her down through the deepest antechambers of creation, should harm ever befall Benjamin again. The girl would transform herself into a vampire or worse, in order to do it. Edythe had no doubt of that, whatsoever. Even now she shuddered.

Edythe held no reproach for Zoey's combative bellicosity, none in the least. The girl was right. Absolutely correct about everything.

Only much later did Alice volunteer, "I picked up a mini-VHS player on the way back here. From a second-hand electronics store. I can leave it with you. When you're ready."

Edythe shook her head with revulsion. "I can't bear to see it. Maybe I'll never be able. I've already seen the worst of it through your head. The part that says he marched into certain death and attacked a vampire. For me. Ben forfeited his one mortal life in my defense. Alice, he has blessed me. Me. I am nothing. A filthy, ugly leech. I don't know how I will ever be worthy of him."

Alice stared at her in the mirror, and she looked severe as she hissed, "You just let Benjamin be the judge of that, Edythe Cullen."

Edythe nodded and impulsively wiped her tearless eyes.

After a time she said, "You should watch the tape though, Alice. Jillian definitely knew you. She was a vain, narcissistic braggart who enjoyed the sound of her own voice almost as much as her shallow cunning. There may be insights. As to how thoroughly she foiled us all, and you most of all. Just please take it far away. Somewhere out of my range."