Blue

twenty eight

Karina watched as Winter's eyes fluttered back into reality, immediately searching the room for the familiar brown eyed girl. Winter met Karina's gaze tentatively, looking for any sign of anger or danger. When she was only met with pure adoration, Winter moved swiftly forwards and threw her arms around Karina.

"I tried," she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut and tucking her head into the crook of her girlfriend's neck. The small girl held her breath to contain her tears.

"What?" Karina whispered, grabbing Winter's shoulders and separating them. "What are you talking about?" She watched as tears clouded Winter's eyes. Karina moved forward to pull her girlfriend into another hug, but Winter stopped her, shaking her head.

"I want to talk," Winter sniffed, wiping her eyes. Karina hated to see Winter struggling, but the brown eyed girl held herself back. Winter took a deep breath.

"I-I did a bad thing to you, didn't I?" Winter whispered. Before Karina could speak, Winter shook her head and continued talking. "I do not... I do not remember the bad thing. But... I tried, Ji," she reached up and traced Karina's jawline with her index finger, letting it linger on her face for a moment.

"You tried?" Karina asked softly. She placed a hand on Winter's arm, trying to ease her to continue. The small girl nodded furiously.

"The things they said..." she shook her head. "They were bad." Winter didn't quite understand much of the meaning of what she remembered, but she could tell by the tone of the girl's voices that they were anything but nice to Karina. And it infuriated her.

"I tried, Ji, I tried," Winter bit her lip. "I did not want them to say those things to you, I did not!" She threw her hands down at her sides, becoming frustrated with her inability to express her words.

"Hey, hey," Karina shook her head, grabbing Winter's wrists and forcing her to look up. "Breathe," she whispered, rubbing Winter's arms to calm her down. "Take your time."

"I... I tried to stop them," Winter reached up to roll her bottom lip in between her fingers, looking down at the ground.

"You did?" Karina asked, somewhat surprised with Winter's words. The caramel eyed girl nodded softly.

"Those things were not good for you," Winter whispered. "It hurts to know that I could not help," she hung her head down, disappointed with her past self. How could she be so cold?

"It got me here, didn't it?" Karina squeezed Winter's hand. The girl looked up in confusion.

"I mean, yeah, it sorta sucked at the time. Not gonna lie," Karina shrugged and bit her lip. "But what if it hadn't happened? What would my life be like? Would I be here with you? Or would I be somewhere else?" She watched Winter's eyes shine with realization. "I wouldn't go back to change it and risk never meeting you."

"You... you would not?" Winter looked up in disbelief. Karina laughed softly and shook her head.

"Never in a million years," she kissed Winter's forehead and reached up to adjust her bow. "If you can't tell, I'm pretty happy with things just the way they are. And I'll be even happier when all of this sucky stuff..." she motioned around the room. "...is behind us."

Winter nodded softly. Her mind was all over the place. She could barely focus her eyes on one place. None of this made sense, yet all of it did. She was confused, yet completely content. It was an unexplainable feeling.

"Y'think you can walk around a little more," Karina bit her lip nervously.

Winter studied her girlfriend's face. That was one thing that always remained constant. Everything could change and she could be perfectly fine as long as every time she looked up, she was met with the same pair of chocolate eyes. They captured her, pulling her away from everything bad and making everything okay, even just for a moment.