Blue

epilogue

Hi.

This is Winter. I am a lot different now. But I like to think that I am still the same person I was before. That is what Karina says, too. I have just been through a little more. Or a lot more.

I used to think it was a bad thing. I used to want to change everything about myself and the things that happened to me, because I thought maybe things would turn out better. But I met someone who I do not think I would have met if things had been different. And I do not want to risk never knowing her. Because she is a lot better than anything I could have found on my own.

Her name is Karina. But I call her Yooji. She has eyes like milk chocolate and a heart like the sky. I think that is why I love her so much.

I did not know people like her existed. I thought they were impossible to find. But I found her, even though I had to see a lot of bad things first. I think she was worth it, though. No, I know she was worth it.

I hear people talking about finding their other halves a lot. But I do not like that. I do not need my other half because I am not a half. Yooji is definitely not a half. I need her because she makes me a better whole. And I hope I do the same for her.

I need her because she makes me smile. She makes me feel things I have never felt before. I did not know what it was like to laugh so hard that your stomach hurt until I met her. I do not think I really knew how to love until I met her.

Love is weird. I do not know how to put it into words. It fills you up and leaves no space for fear. I am safe when I am with her. Because I love her. And in that moment, that is all that matters to me. It is a weird feeling.

I am lucky. I am lucky because I found somewhere better. I do not know what I would have done if I did not end up here. It scares me just to think about it.

It is weird to read my old words in here. It is hard to remember feeling the way I did. I wish I could have shown myself the good things I would discover here.

The bad things are going away. And I am happy.

- Winter

The small girl quickly scrambled to shut the leather journal and hide it back under the bed when she heard footsteps approaching down the hallway. The door opened and a wide smile spread across Winter's face when she saw Karina. She quickly lifted Clifford from her lap and hopped to her feet, making her way across the room to greet the girl.

Winter was confused when Karina held out a hand to stop her. Tilting her head to the side, Winter watched as her girlfriend pulled something out of her sweatshirt pocket and handed it to her.

"Read it," Karina said softly, nodding towards the bed. Confused but curious, Winter padded over to sit down, turning around the folder paper in her hands.

"Don't be scared," Karina laughed, shoving her hands back in her pockets. "It's nothing bad."

Winter pursed her lips, tilting her head to the side as she slowly unfolded the paper. Her eyes widened when she saw the page was covered in Karina's small print, crammed onto the sheet from top to bottom. She gave her girlfriend a questioning look.

"Go on," Karina laughed, leaning over and kissing Winter's shoulder. "You'll like it."

With a soft nod, Winter scanned over the page a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness in the room before she slowly read out loud.

Dear Winter,

I love you. You probably already know that but I just wanted to make that clear from the start. You deserve to hear it all the time.