More Than Friends

Fifteen

I ended up meeting back up with Conner in the same place we had first decided to meet up earlier this summer. As I saw him walking over towards me from the corner of my eye, I couldn't help but remember my reaction when we first saw each other after five years of being apart. He looked so different, I honestly didn't even realize it was him at first, thinking he was just some random, cute guy at the park. My initially reaction had been to freaking out in the inside, and this time, I might as well have reacted the same way. 

After everything that has happened, how else should I react?

"Ben, you made it!" 

"Hey..." I stood up for an awkward hug.

Thankfully, I wasn't the only one nervous here. Connor seemed hesitant, unsure whether to hug me, or just not touch me. 

"So... uh, I guess we should just start from the beginning then."

"So, how long have you been gay? If I may ask, I mean..." Connor asked.

I had to say that it was really nice not being the one freaking out and getting all nervous for once, and seemed to even give me a small boost of confidence.

"It's okay. I'm open about it. Everyone in this town, who actually cares to know, pretty much already does." Finally, I had someone to talk to about this kind of stuff with, and as awkward as it may have been due to our situation and all, it was still a great feeling over all, like lifting a great weight off my chest. "I guess I've sort of known for a long time. Since middle school, maybe?"

"Middle school! Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Whoa! Calm down, Connor. I meant like eighth grade-ish. You know, after you left." Come to think of it, I might have known before he left, but that was over thinking it too much. "At least that's when I knew for sure."

We both stayed silent. Connor tried to smile back at me, but he couldn't avoid me asking him the same thing.

"What about you?" I asked him. "Or you know..."

For a second, he stopped to really think about it. To be fair, I would have never expected him to be gay to begin with, so I could only imagine what his answer could be. 

Was he really even gay? Bi? Something else?

"Huh. I've never really thought about it." He seemed genuinely confused. "I mean, I've never been interested in guys before, not that much."

"Then what was last night about?"

He grabbed my hand, looked at me and smiled.

"It just felt right."

My cheeks burned up again, he noticed, but this time wasn't afraid to push my boundaries a bit and pinched them, laughing at me.

"Knock it off." I yelled at him, trying to get a hold of myself. "Who do you think you are now? My boyfriend or something?"

"Boyfriend?"

Me and my big mouth, I only meant it as a joke, but it had completely come out the wrong way. When would I learn how to be a little less stupid?

"Ugh, you know what I meant." I tried to save myself, but only dug myself into a deeper hole.

"Would you like me to be?" He asked me, looking at me straight in the eyes.

"What?"

"Hah! Calm down, Ben." Ruffling my hair, he got closer, barely giving me enough space to breath. "I just asked if you wanted me to be your boyfriend, is all?"

"WHAT?!"

If it wasn't for the joking tone in his voice, I would have fainted right then and there. 

Why is he being so open and honest about all this? I thought to myself. Better yet, why wasn't I?

"Well? What's your ans—"

Before he could continue to taunt me, I kissed him on the lips. Now he was the one red in the face and I was the one laughing.

"Do you want me to be yours?" I asked, turning the tables on him.