Fool No More (completed)

2

I was sitting in the clubhouse talking with some of the guys and I was sponsoring the biggest most fake smile a woman who as broken hearted as I am could muster.

When Angel walked in and went over to the bar and started talking and kissing Nails. my fake smile disappeared and my actual feelings showed.

"Hey, mammas you ok?" Creeper asked

I looked at him and cleared my throat homing my voice wouldn't give away anything.

"I'm fine" I replied

It was the biggest lie I had ever said. but I didn't need Creeper to worry.

"wanna talk about it?" he asked

"not now. later possibly" I replied

"I got you" he says

I half a half smile before I looked back over towards the bar.

 It kills me so much to see him with Nails. watching them two be so affectionate.

It's like a knife to my heart watching the guy I love be how he is with Nails. 

After talking more to the guys and avoiding looking towards Angel's direction I decided to go.

"you know where I live creeper. when you have free time come over" I tell him

he nodded his head.

"see you later" he says

"I'll be there" I tell him

"if I cant be there I'll call" he says

I nodded my head and told them all bye before I headed out.

I walked outside and I heard Angel asking Ez if he was gonna come join him and Nails. saying nails is having a girlfriend over.

when Ez told him he's gonna out with Gabby. Angel was getting disgusted with Ez talking about how he likes Gabby.

I walked off the steps when Bish came and told them to come back to the clubhouse by midnight they were riding out.

I walked up to Ez.

"don't let anyone ruin this for you and Gabby. if you like her, then be with her, show her you like her. don't let anyone's comments about how you feel towards Gabby bother you. I'm happy for you Ez, you really deserve this opportunity" I tell him before kissing his cheek and leaf after I tell him to stay safe.

When Creeper showed up I let him.

He didn't have to ask what was bothering me cause it seemed as if I was an open book.

"you don't deserve this shit" he says

I wiped my eyes from the heartbreak that Angel is causing me.

"you're correct I don't" I replied

"lets talk about it" he says as he took a seat close to me

"just hating myself" I replied as I pressed my fingers to my eyes willing myself to stop crying.

"hey. just because my Angel is an idiot doesn't mean you need to hate yourself. he doesn't know a real woman when he sees them. he only wants free ass which Nails is giving up and he's risking diseases." Creeper says

I nodded my head knowing what he is saying is true.

"can I tell you something?" I asked

"yea" he says

"despite me falling in love or honestly what I thought was love I knew deep down this wasn't the right one or more so he wasn't. yet my foolish self didn't want to believe it. and here I am crying over his ass and the bullshit that he is doing to me. when my heart truly knew all the shit was not real" I confessed

"you wanted to be loved by someone you had known for a long time. I get it" he says

I wiped my eyes again and sniffled.

"yea. but he's no longer worth my tears" I tell him

"thats correct mammas" he says

I looked at him and smiled.

"thank you so much" I tell him

"its what I'm here for" he says

"yea he hear me spewing bulshit over a person who you'd think wouldn't be like this with how things in his personal is going yet he is." I replied

"that and to show you that now all of us guys are like Angel" he says

"I knew from the moment I first met you Cre that you wasn't anything like angel. that your similar to me in some ways and that your the faithful kind" I replied

"we are similar do to us being heavily tatted" he joked which made me smile.

"that and we both tend to others when its needed and know when it comes time for needing someone we are left alone" I replied

"that's true," he says

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him before resting my head on his should.

"I appreciate this Cre. so damn much," I tell him

"it's not you'd never do this for me. hell you'd be the only one to do this for me or make sure I'm already" he says

"cause I care about you and your well being." I tell him

"cause we are friends," he says

"till things change for a possible better relationship. " I say

 when he said nothing I felt like a fucking idiot. 

Its like my mouth talks before my brain thinks it over.

I sighed and kept quiet not wanting to make a bigger idiot of myself.